a little laugh :-)

[Shylina Marie]

and the choir says AMEN!!!!!

[prism {*RgR*1*}]

A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States .  He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!"

The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican."

The man goes on and encounters another passerby.  "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America ."  The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America !"  That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East .  I am not American."

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"  She says, "No, I am from Africa ."  Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
The African lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."

[prism {*RgR*1*}]

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'. Paddy replies, 'OK  Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and  steps off. He falls flat on his face. 'Damn' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off .. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face,

 'Damn,

 'Damn !'

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

 'By'Jeebers.... I'm a little crocked,' he says.

 He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.  He takes a look up the stairs and says 'No damn' way'. He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says ' Damn it ' and falls into bed.

 The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night ?'


Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was really crocked. But how'd you know?'

 'Mick phoned . . . you left your wheelchair at the pub.

[RAGNAR]

Egawds....

[Amber]

Ya would think.. Mick would at least draw his attention to this fact. -rofl-

[prism {*RgR*1*}]

*laughs with Amber*

oh HELL NO... I worked in a bar for 10 years.. and believe me.. when you spend all night dealing with someone drinking, leaving them an outlet to realize they were "over the edge" in the morning is funnier than shit.. LOL

[Raziel]

I have a good one for everyone...

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. So the old man says to his wife....










Hrmm....I forgot where I was going with this.....

Raz

[Amber]

-snickers-

[Taryn]

~grumbles~

[flame{NS}]

You are so bad Master ( but in a good way ) giggles as she heads out




da flame

[prism {*RgR*1*}]

You know, with the Sandar Memorial Dance Celebration coming 'round again,  I can see him, so clearly, in my mind.. just enjoying the hell out of this and even having Kelsey pinging ramberries off this couple as they dance and him just laughing for the pure enjoyment and pleasure of it all..

http://www.parkwayreststop.com/archives/2937

[prism {*RgR*1*}]

Redneck Bank Loan


A Redneck from South Carolina walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Bakersfield on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.

The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari.. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Redneck produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest. 

Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from the south for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground garage and parked it. 

Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?'

The good 'ole boy replied, 'Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?' 


His name was Bubba..

[rep]

i usually don't check out vids on the board but i am sooooooooo glad that i did!!!

what a gift they gave

thanks for sharing 

[familure{TD}]

got this in my e-mail today.....for some reason, i thought a few might get a kick out of it~

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example:

If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

[flame{NS}]

i found this on another board and it just crack me up


 
    MY PRIVATE PARTS DIED
« on: February 20, 2009, 09:20:53 pm » Quote 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home

 One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.

 Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong,

 'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr. Wallace.

 'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.'

 Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes
 a little  crazy, she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace.

 Please accept my
 condolences.'

The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall
 with his  Private Part hanging out of his pajamas.

 He met Nurse Tracy. 'Mr. Wallace,' she said, 'You shouldn't be walking
 down the hall like that.

Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.'

 'But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr. Wallace. 'I told you yesterday
 that my Private Part died.

 'Yes,' said Nurse Tracy, 'you did tell me that, but why is it hanging
out of your pajamas?'

 'Well,' he replied, 'Today is the viewing.'