Author Topic: a little laugh :-)  (Read 531192 times)

Offline Mercilayne

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1020 on: April 11, 2014, 05:14:06 AM »
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled down the stairs.  With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?  Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife, "Don't Ernest!" she said, "They're for the funeral."

Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1021 on: April 16, 2014, 02:29:18 PM »
Gee... that seems to be prophetic. LOL

Offline Mercilayne

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1022 on: May 09, 2014, 09:28:49 PM »
-Reminds me of the Ubaba-


A man escaped jail by digging a hole from his jail cell to the outside world. When finally his work was done, he emerged in the middle of a preschool playground.
"I'm free, I'm free!" he shouted.
"So what," said a little girl. "I'm four."

Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1023 on: May 10, 2014, 05:01:46 PM »
LOL Just before she has Mongo slit his throat, take his valuables, and cover him up in the hole...

kiahMTC

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1024 on: May 15, 2014, 05:12:30 AM »

Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1025 on: May 15, 2014, 05:29:45 PM »
LOL

Offline Mercilayne

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1026 on: May 15, 2014, 08:27:04 PM »
ain't that the truth!?!!

Offline Mercilayne

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1027 on: May 20, 2014, 08:56:10 PM »
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.  Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. They hear about a bull for sale in Abilene and decide the brunette sister will drive out to check out the animal. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.  After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram telling my sister that I've bought a bull and I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just $.99 a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she says, "I want you to send her the word 'comfortable'." The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it slowly: com - for - da - bul."

Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1028 on: May 21, 2014, 05:15:05 PM »
JDL

Offline Fishy!

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1029 on: May 21, 2014, 11:53:23 PM »

Offline Amber

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1030 on: May 22, 2014, 05:59:21 AM »
Good Lord -rubs face- You're weird, Fishy.

Offline Fishy!

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1031 on: May 22, 2014, 10:22:21 AM »
Good Lord -rubs face- You're weird, Fishy.



But you lurves meeeeeeeee!

Offline Sidona

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1032 on: May 30, 2014, 05:15:09 PM »


nope, nope, nope...


~*~~*~

Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1033 on: May 31, 2014, 06:36:51 PM »
JDL!!!!!

Offline prism {*RgR*1*}

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1034 on: June 08, 2014, 09:00:58 AM »
~*~~*~
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says...

'Oh shit....she's awake!!'

~*~~*~