a little laugh :-)

[Fishy!]

Best Known Man In the World


Well Sulio's boss thinks for a minute and then comes up with a name. "Tom Selleck! I bet you don't know Tom Selleck!" Sulio says "Tom Selleck! Tom and I were in boy scouts together when we were kids!" but Sulio's boss says "No you weren't!" then Sulio says "Yes we were!" so they fly to Hollywood and drive up to Tom Selleck's house. Sulio knocks on the door and Tom Selleck answers and Sulio goes "Tom!!!" and Tom goes "Sulio!" and they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Sulio's boss can't believe it. But then he thinks "Well that could happen, it's just one person," so he tells Sulio and Sulio says "OK, pick somebody else!"

This time Sulio's boss has someone in mind! "The president, Bill Clinton! You don't know Bill Clinton!" but Sulio says "Oh yes I do! Bill and I were on debate team together in college!" Sulio's boss says "No you weren't!" and Sulio says "Yes we were!" so they fly to Washington and they catch up with the President at a press conference. They work their way through the crowd until Sulio get's close enough to catch Clinton's eye and waves "Bill!" and the President waves "Sulio!" and after the press conference they hug and catch up for 30 minutes and Sulio's boss is stunned-- he can't believe it. But then he thinks "Well that's just two people in one country-- that doesn't mean he knows everyone in the whole world!" so he tells Sulio and Sulio says "OK, pick someone out of the world spectrum and I know them!"

And Sulio's boss knows just who to pick so he says "The Pope! You do not know the Pope!" and Sulio says "The Pope! The Pope BAPTIZED me!" and Sulio's boss says "No he didn't!" and Sulio says "Yes he did!" so they fly to Rome where the Pope is giving Mass in front of hundreds of thousands of people. They work their way through the crowd-- without much luck-- so Sulio says "Boss, we're never gonna get there together through all these people so I tell you what--I'll work my way up there and when I do, I'll give you a sign that shows you I know the Pope!" and he leaves. Well Sulio's boss waits and waits and waits and just when he's about to give up, he sees the Pope come out onto the balcony and right there beside him is Sulio!

Shortly afterwards, Sulio's boss passes out. Sulio comes back and finds his boss passed out and he fans him and says "Boss! Boss! Wake up!" and when his boss comes to, he asks "Boss what happened?" Sulio's boss looks at Sulio and says "OK, I can see Tom Selleck. I can see Bill Clinton...hell, I can even take the Pope! But when somebody standing next to me asks 'Who's that up there with Sulio?' that's a little more than I can take!

[Amber]

-rofl-  Niiiiiice.

[prism {*RgR*1*}]

I love this!!
thank you my sweetest jale {Lil} for sending it to me..


The Aisle Seat...


Two Radical Arab Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.  Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes, and was settling20in when the Arab in the window said, “I need to get up and get a Coke.”   “Don’t get up,” said the Marine, “I’m in the aisle seat.  I’ll get it for you.”


As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked-up the Marines shoe and spat in it.  ;  When the Marine returned with eh Coke, the other Arab said, “That looks good. I’d really like one, too.”  Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it.   While he was gone, the other Arab picked-up the Marines other shoe and spat in it.   When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.


As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.   He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors, “Why does it have to be this way? How long must this go on?   This fighting between our nations?  This hatred?  This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in Cokes?”


THE FEW. THE PROUD. THE MARINES. THE BEST!   HoooRaaaahhh!

[flame{NS}]

 that was good... smiles thank you for sharing it



da flame

[Hippie]

 Letter from Wal-Mart


After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her weekly trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get right in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Chapman:
 
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Chapman are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras ~
 
1. June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7:
Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor, leading to the Women's Restroom.
4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4:
Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15:
Set up a tent in the Camping Department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the Bedding
 Department.
8. August 23:
When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4:
Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
While handling guns in the Sporting Goods Department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11.October 3:
Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12.October 6:
In the Auto Department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13.October 9:
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14.October 14:
When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed  'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
 
And last, but not least ...
15. October 16:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's  no toilet paper in here!'

[RAGNAR]

JDL

[Salem]

LMFAO

[Amber]

Those all sound like things B would do in Walmart.....

[prism {*RgR*1*}]

*looks at Amber and snickers*

like Father, like Son... (guess why I don't take Ubar to Walmart anymore.. )

[Salem]

I have 50 dollars in Walmart gift cards. Now I have an axcuse to go and be bad. Can't throw out a paying customer !

[Amber]

I can just imagine, woobie.....

[kadi{MTC}]

The Hairdryer:

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?'

'Of course my child. What may I do for you?'

'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs Limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?'

The priest answered: 'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not Lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.

The Official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer st range, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the Floor?'

'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!'

[RAGNAR]

ROTFLMTAO!!!

[Salem]

LOL

[Salem]

Anyone a fan of Voltron ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzG4fQnDKZo