when the fire is gone

[Dream]

she has sat many hours, wondering, if the fires will return. she has sat wondering, if she did the right thing, bringing dreamy back.  she has yet to find the answers.  she has tried to be in camp, but has asked herself, why?  she cannot find whatever it is within her, that drove her for so long. the simplest thing, of offering to serve, is no longer the simplest thing. she has so many doubts that are smothering the fires of her slave belly.  she has thought over so many times, the comment that was made to her, that, she should have thought about it more before returning to MTC.  the thing she asks herself over and over again, is, what good is a slave with no fire that burns within her?  she cannot answer that either.  many have said dreamy is loved, dreamy is wanted in camp, dreamy will find the fires again and to have patience.  tears cloud her eyes and clouds shadow her heart.  like the brittle winter grasses, with no life left in them, they exist, and so does dreamy.

[Sati]

Why did you come back, you have to ask yourself that question and be honest with yourself..if it is simply because you miss the people of MTC, perhaps you should try a different role. Many before you have done just that, be a FW for awhile see if it satisfies your need, it may and it may not, but its worth a try *hugs*

[Thalia]

Being a free woman for a period of time does not work for every broken slave, but it has been a saving grace for many -- myself included.  Maybe you DO need the opportunity to enjoy your family and to role-play without the pressures of being "slave pleasing" and "slave perfect"... Maybe you simply need the ability to come and go about camp without being called upon to serve others, to be able to feel your emotions without worrying that they are displeasing or un-slavelike, and to just ... be... for a while. 

Whatever you decide, I do know that when you are comfortable, when you find your emotional center, then you will be ready to open yourself -- and then those embers will be fanned back into a raging fire.  Right now, you cannot help but curl into yourself, like an armadillo protecting its underbelly, and you just cannot expect yourself to have slave fires at the moment.  Maybe in John Norman's little fantasy, a broken-hearted and unsure slave can be some super-sexual, uber-needy little slut and deal with her emotional setbacks later, but that just doesn't happen in the real world.