Author Topic: a little laugh :-)  (Read 529312 times)

Offline jade{NS}

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1275 on: July 29, 2015, 01:21:08 PM »
hahahahaaha ... *likes that one* ...
jade
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Offline RickBulow74

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1276 on: July 30, 2015, 07:55:00 PM »
A Momentary Truce
A Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious.
On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.
The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road.
"I yelled to him, "Saddam Hussein was a miserable, low-life scum-bag who got what he deserved.
And he yelled back, "Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left wing Commie who isn't even an American."
So I said, "Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian!"
He retaliated by yelling, "Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!"
And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us.
OOC - Rick


Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1277 on: July 31, 2015, 08:24:40 AM »
Can't argue that...   ???

Offline RickBulow74

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1278 on: August 02, 2015, 05:40:21 PM »
TAKE MY ASS TO JAIL
A Tennessee State trooper pulled a car over on I-24 about 2 miles east of the Alabama/Tennessee State line.
When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Chattanooga to do a show at the Shrine Circus & he didn't want to be late.
The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling acts and told the driver if he would do a little juggling for him he wouldn't give him a ticket.
He told the trooper he had sent his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.
The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car and asked if he could juggle them.
The juggler said he could, so the trooper got out 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.
While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunken good ol' boy from Alabama got out, watched the performance, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in.
The trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car, opened the door & asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.
The drunk replied, “You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there ain't no way in hell I can pass that test.”
OOC - Rick


Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1279 on: August 03, 2015, 10:11:48 AM »
Its a good thing!!!!! The drunk would have kicked the Trooper's ass and they would have found him beside the road the next day with three burnt out flares rammed up his ass!!!!!

Useless meter maids...

Offline RickBulow74

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1280 on: August 05, 2015, 07:40:07 AM »
ARAB IN A BAR
A rich Arab walks in a bar and is about to order a
drink when he sees a guy close by wearing a Jewish cap,
a prayer shawl and traditional locks of hair.
He doesn't have to be Einstein to know this guy
is Jewish. So he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that
everyone can hear: 'drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not
for the Jew over there'. Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Jew
gives him a big smile, waves at him, then says: 'thank you', in an equally loud voice.
This infuriates the Arab.
He once again loudly orders drinks for everyone
except the Jew. As before, this does not seem to bother the Jewish
guy. He continues to smile, and again yells: 'thank you'.
The Arab asks the bartender: "What's the matter with that Jew?
I've ordered two rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all he does is smile and thank me
The bartender replies: 'He owns the place'.
OOC - Rick


Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1281 on: August 05, 2015, 09:45:21 AM »
LOL  ;D

Offline RickBulow74

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1282 on: August 08, 2015, 04:06:42 PM »
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there," as he pointed out the location.
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish . . . on any land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams and saw the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull.
With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer and it seemed likely that he would be gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs . . ..
"Your badge. Show him your BADGE!"
OOC - Rick


Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1283 on: August 08, 2015, 05:34:23 PM »
LOL Stupid should hurt!!!!!

Offline Mercilayne

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1284 on: August 12, 2015, 04:45:43 PM »

Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1285 on: August 12, 2015, 04:51:20 PM »
 ;D ;D ;D :D

Offline RickBulow74

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1286 on: August 20, 2015, 01:38:55 PM »
The Italian Funeral
A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.
The Jewish man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian funeral like this.. Whose funeral is it?"
My wife's."
'What happened to her?"
"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"
My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her and killed her also.
A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood and silence passed between the two men..
The Jewish man then asked "Can I borrow the dog?"
The Italian man replied, "Get in the line."
OOC - Rick


Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1287 on: August 20, 2015, 06:04:58 PM »
Man's Best Friend!!!!!   ;D

Offline Mercilayne

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1288 on: August 26, 2015, 04:37:04 PM »

Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1289 on: August 26, 2015, 05:48:07 PM »
Oh yeah. LOL