well, since this lil thread can't be deleted...might as well put it to use~chuckles~
once again, filled with cold meds, and lack of sleep, i was going through some quotes, not really looking for anything, having had an odd understanding come over me in regards to my slavery lately, just, reading John Norman's words. in doing such, in this frame of mind, this quote made me stop digging, and simply smile~
In reconciling myself to bondage I had, also, to reconcile myself to this condition, it is a part of bondage. It is something which the slave must accept. Without it there can be no true slavery.
I had accepted this condition, at least theoretically, verbally acknowledging its incumbency on me, in my training. somehow, interestingly, this acceptance too, seemed liberating to me, it made my bondage much more real to me.
Too, interestingly, in its way, it also made it seem much more precious to me.
Dancer of Gor, page 92
last night, i was asked...how long had i been here. that simple question gave me pause... 2 years, and 5 months. it sounds like such a long time, doesn't it? but the reality is...the inner journey still feels so new. perhaps, it is because i started sooooo green, having read a book or two, but no concept of role play at all, just an unexplainable desire to be....here.
the journey only begins, with those tumblers clicking into place, and that cold turian steel, as it slowly warms while encircling your throat. it is so easy (one would think), to say..."hey, i'm a slave". but, it's not...not if you really mean those words...accept what those words truly mean. feel them thunder through your being. knowing that nothing can be hidden. everything, thoughts, emotions....the whole ball of wax...is now something that must be exposed.
~exhaling~
has anyone lived that moment? was it embraced, or fought against?
i know my answers...and will hold off till others speak on theirs (cause...this isn't just about me, it's about all of us, we learn from each others experiences) so please, share...