In Memoriam - Nexhias

[Raziel]

Brandy/Nexhias, our beloved Ubara and Sister has passed away this evening at 12:02 am.

I simply wanted to write down my feelings at the moment.

Brandy/Nexhias...

As stoic as I may seem online or for those that know me in real life, as indifferent and full of dry sarcasm I am filled with, at this time, this moment, I am filled with a pain.  My vision is clouded, my throat becomes tight and my heart aches with every beat.  WE as a family here in MTC, have lost one of our own, we have lost you.  You played a major role here in MTC and you played a major role in our lives.  When you first went off to serve your country, we spoke and I knew you would return.  My faith in you was only exceeded in your determination to prove the odds wrong.  Your personality outshined any dismal moment you had and no matter what, you always found your way back home to us.  Im not a religious man but I know God has called you home to Him.  You have earned your place at His side, free from pain, from anguish and finally found your peace.  I can only hope that your family finds peace also in the knowledge that you are in a better place, a happier place and I know that you will make that place a brighter one. 

My heart goes out to anyone and everyone that shares the sadness I have at your loss.  I will remember your laughter most of all.  It was something that said no matter the situation you faced, the inevitability of pain you faced, you could always find something positive in it and freely gave that laughter to share with all of US.  It is something that hurts and yet it does make me happy at the same time.  To loose you but knowing you deserve to be free.  I know that you will always be with us, but that doesnt stop the pain for any of us, not at this moment.  So perhaps it is a sadness not for you but for us, that someone so special and dear, someone so loved has left us and it is a vacancy that will never be filled.  It is your place and we will keep it forever.  You have touched all our lives in more ways than one and loosing you feels like a crushing blow.  We love you, we miss you, we will miss you, we will remember you always and know that though your light has gone out, the brightness you provided, will always be here to help light our way in this world.  I only hope I have done the memory of you some small bit of justice as no words can paint the grand picture of who you are.

By the Skies, please be happy and may angels sing your name in Heaven and watch over you.

We love you.

Tim/Raziel

[risky{MTC}]

this one aggrees good luck Mistress may god be with you in spirit.

[ki]

it's hard to belive.. it's like someone said the ground beneath your feet is gone.

She was.. is... elemental.. like a force of nature..

There is so much to say... and so much more unsayable.. that i can
not put into words.. A great woman has passed..the day is not as bright
and the world grown smaller..

i will try to honor Her and Her memory in the way that She wanted.
keep the fires that She lit..... buring..

She is gone.. but She will ever be a part of me..

my condolances to  Her family.. familes

damn it hurts

michael

[rep]

it's hard to know what to say or write or even to feel. i wasn't sure if it is best for me to post or keep my feelings to myself. i wasn't close to her like so many here. we had our disagreements in r/p and on the board. big, major, disagreements. but she was still my home's Ubara, my Ubara, and that simply made her special. she kept my character alive for some reason and lent her support to me on the board. two very big things at the time, though now so inconsequential. this, is not coming out how i hoped but i'm going to post it anyway. i think she would want me here, imperfect but participating. i want to remember my lessons and laughter and all of yours too and especially the legacy she leaves imprinted on all whom met her.

i never doubted, when she wrote that she loved all of her family, that i was included in that too.

i hurt for all of you, her loved ones, her friends and for me, part of her family here, all that will miss her and not get to know her.

she meant something to me, too.....it may be different...but she meant something to me too

kiah

[flame{NS}]

the news came as a shock to me this morning as i read...she will be missed, as she was a part of our lives..she will always have a speacail place in my heart... i am going to miss the long talks we had and the teaching she was given this one... but i know that she is up there singing with all the angels looking down on us......condlonces goes out to her family and friends.... flame leaves hugs and kisses



da flame

[Taryn]

I am still trying to process all of this, and words aren't my strong point at the moment, but I will have something to say in time... But I wanted to share something with you all... These are the lyrics to the song that was playing when the news was said in the room last night... And for some reason it gave me comfort...

My Immortal by Evanenscence

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

[Shylina Marie]

Its too hard to find anything to say....as a friend..as a sister. as a member of a unique brethren..  I will honor you.   With the words spoken before ... and words that will be spoken again.  I take comfort to know that you have just joined the angel band. and will stand the watch at heavens gates for the rest of us. I walked through the kitchen and read these words again.. and heard you speak to me.


Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the mornings hush.
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds
in circled flight.
I am the soft starts that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die.

written by William Martin
 US Army Retired Vietnam.
Deceased August 1992.
 my Father in law


Mission Complete... Welcome Home.

[Alex]

In times like these as i have not rped in mtc for very long I like to remember the good times.. Ill always remember the speech she gave during migration but one thing comes to mind i think of the final scene in the movie, The Last Samari...

"please tell me how he died...

I will Tell you how he lived... "

its not word for word but I evnjoyed the time i did get to spend with Nex... and I will always be found of the memories I have of that... But today is  a sad but great day for us all... she is no longer in pain and is in a better place.. so for that i will celebrate her life and what lessons she has taught us all the imprints and impressions she has left upon us, and forever remember that......


Alex

[Buddha]

My condolences to her family and friends.

[DaPaleOne]

there are not enough words to describe the kin dof person Brandy was, she was kind, generous, loving and brave. those are only the meager words that come to mind.

goddess protect and keep you our fallen Sister, you were loved and cherished by all whom your radiant ways touched.

[familure{TD}]

words are not perhaps the easiest for any of us right now. everything seems to be a raw jumble of emotions and memories wrapped in layer shock. the woman behind the character...in a very real way, was able to touch everyone she encountered. the brightness of her essence, the power of her spirit and utter relish for life..the way she found time, even if it was just a stolen moment here and there, to listen...to laugh. it only served to show the true courageousness and selflessness of her nature, the way she set aside her troubles, her pain...everything that some might easily say was the reality of her day to day...to be there for us, all of us. people she only knew as characters on a screen, faces that aren't really our own. she found the time, the way, to get to know a small part of everyone she encountered. to touch us with the brightness of her. the world has lost something great with her passing on though we all were so blessed to have gotten to bask in in the light she provided so briefly.

a few things that seem to say what's in my heart~

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.

Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy. 
~Author Unknown

~the typist behind lure
 

[prism {*RgR*1*}]

When I think of Brandi, I think of two words.

Passion and determination

Her passion for life, for the things she believed in, for family, for the freedoms we so often take for granted.
Her determination to not let troubles slow her down or hold her up, or make her desperate and without hope or love..

She has always given us someone to look up to and aspire to be like in so many ways. And she gave us love, unconditional and unyielding.  And we have given it back. Unconditional and unwavering.

We have all lost a chosen family member, not one we were given by fate, but one we chose, like she chose us.. but only in the physical sense.. We have not lost the part of her that lives on in our hearts. And believe me when I know that if I look up passion, or determination in the dictionary, her picture will be there in my heart.

woobie

[-TT-]

My condolences to all her loved ones.

[Michael]

thoughts and prayers goes out to All her friends and family during your this difficult time.


Michael

[kadi{MTC}]

what can one write that hasnt already been said, when i read this tonight i just broke down crying and all i could think of is this

there is another star in the havens shinning bright
there is another angel in haven watching over all of us
Nex kadi shall miss you as will all of your family here in Tuchuk

kadi