1) You go out to a resturant for dinner and beckon the waitress by calling "to me, girl".
2) You beat your secretary because she forgot to sweeten the rim of your coffee mug with her lush lips.
3) Your favorite place to sit and watch tv is on the velvet "fur"
bean bag.
4) You try to carry your wife to the bedroom while balancing a bowl of paga in one hand.
5) Your child brings home a report card with straight "A's".
You ::Smile softly and slowly look down upon him:: "you have pleased me well this day little one."
6) You sign your checks XVmrkjonesVX.
7) You spend three months trying to find an architect who will agree to design a fur pit in front of the fireplace in your new home. You come home at the end of the day and are disappointed to find your wife in blue jeans instead of in nadu.
9) You threaten the manager of the local grocery store because he refuses to carry larma in the produce section.
10) Your child gets an "F" on his science project because he has an extra planet labled Gor and one labled Urth........
11) You note the waitress leaving your table and think ... her
garment, though brown and of synthetic material would be muchly improved were the hem raised perhaps three to three and a half horts. Too, would her feet not be more pleasing to look upon were they bared, her ankle belled? You then call out Har-Ta!
12) The waitress then returns, setting your dinner down, instructing you to "Enjoy your meal." You wonder why it is she is now taking the order of another and not kneeling thighs parted sinfully wide (as she is so obviously a redsilk) at your side while you dine. You did not, afterall, excuse the very *friendly* person.
13) You drive-thru the local Taco Bell and are taken aback at the completely unnatural construction of a drive-thru window which has the kajira..err, female employee, handing food down to you. You can not help but think the Builder must have been on a kanda chewing binge when he handed in these designs. You then, of course, buy a Truck, a large, 4 wheel drive model, to compensate for the Builder's stupidity.
14) You nearly cuff the BlockBuster Video kajira..err..female
employee when she, without any grace at all, hands you your video as you leave. Kings, she isn't even on her knees begging you to enjoy the video and praying that she has pleased you?! Further, she is instructing you when you MUST return the d**ned thing.
15) You find yourself face down on the pavement outside a local drinking establishment with a fellow telling you in no uncertain terms. "NO, the waitress does not come with the price of the drink." He then kicks you in the side in anger continuining on with, "And I will not tell you again, this is three *&$****& nights in a row!"
16) When your teacher tells you to do something your response
is "Yes, Master!"
17) When called up to your teacher's desk, you find yourself lowering in nadu to much of his and your fellow classmates suprise. Their startlement baffles you for that brief moment before embarassment sets in when you realize where you are.
18) When asking your teacher for an extension on a project, you find
yourself slipping into third person and shamelessly begging....
Stopping short of dropping to your knees and kissing his feet
thankfully when he agrees... just to shut
you up.
19) While watching Jeapordy, Alex asks you to name a certain large desert... and you blurt out "What is the Tahari!?"
20) You are questioned by police who found you crawling on hands and knees behind the local tavern looking for the "slaves entrance."
21) You speak in third person and no longer wonder why people are looking at you strangely. "Yes, mom ... this girl had a wonderful day today."
22) The waitress asks if "everything is all right" and you
respond "yes, little one, your serve was beautiful. You are an honor to your Master."
23) You are discussing birth control methods with your doctor and ask him about slave wine.
24) The woman you are interviewing for a job opening asks what the duties are and you respond "exquisite beauty and absolute obedience."
25) You don't understand your fiancee's confusion when you introduce her to her new "chain sisters" and tell her she is "en girl". The situation only worsens when you inform her that the "joining ceremony" is off. You tell her you don't need a free companion because your kajirae will serve your needs.
26) When you are playing Scrabble with your Mother (who, incidentally has NO clue what Gor is), and you lay your letter tiles to form the word nadu. When questioned, you look at her in wonderment and say, "But, it's in the Gorean dictionary." From that point on, the only words you seem able to form are kajira, vartbat, tarn, tarsk.. finally getting away with placing "Silks" on the board.
