Perception Trumps Reality

[Kimba~]

Since MazeGor is my Home now, my original writing belongs here, for better or worse.

Whatever other things I roleplay, my Caste is Scribe.  Being earthborn, I wasn’t born into the Caste.  I earned my way into it with my writing about the similarities and differences between Gor-of-the-books, and Gorean Roleplay.

Very rarely do I write one of these things solely as the Typist or solely as the Character.  Kimba has only made one post to an IC Board, ever, that I recall.  But usually, Kimba is doing the writing. 

It is absolutely intrinsic to Kimba’s character that she writes.  Kimba lives in a place in my brain.  I can switch her off, but when she’s running, she’s her own person and I’m just typing.

These kind of articles are generated when something small gets Kimba started thinking about something bigger.  The ideas roll around and bump into other ideas, and eventually it reaches the point where I flip the Kimba switch, and she won’t do anything else but write.  Or talk about what she wants to write about.

As an artist, I know what it is to be compelled to create art, though I don’t try to understand where this compulsion resides and how it manifests.  I just acknowledge it.  And I think something like this happens with Kimba.  Like Black Elk said, “You must dance your vision for the people.”

____________________________________________

People assign all kinds of motivations to me for writing these things, and these people are generally wrong.  Either I have come to some profound revelation, and need to put it into words to fully grasp it – or I feel that I am struggling towards some such revelation and need some other feedback to help me fully grasp it.

I am only starting with this quote, because it exemplifies something I hear over and over and over again.  So this article is not about this person, or the situation she was referring to, in any way.

but I agree with Shy... because they cant really type us to death...

In this Realm, so much depends on the reputation of the Leader.  So while people can’t type you to death, they can type you into oblivion.

Perception trumps reality.

For example, 80% of the American public believe that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction, and had a hand in the 9/11 plot.  It doesn’t matter that the facts have been proven otherwise.

Another example, one of the great public servants of our era is Jerry Brown.  Term-limited out after two successful terms as California Governor 25 years ago, he could have retired after a couple second place showings for the Democratic nomination for President, in 1980 and 1992.  But then he went on to win the Mayorship of Oakland, and revitalized that city, and then was appointed Attorney General of the state of California. 

But he will always be Governor Moonbeam, the guy who has an unshakeable reputation for having no grasp of reality.  I worked for him, I know him, I’ve had dinner with him.  He is the most pragmatic person I have ever met.  Perception trumps reality.

The science on this is cutting-edge, and not written into textbooks yet; but there seems to be no doubt that perception trumps reality.  There might be an objective, external reality out there, but humans can’t perceive it.  We are pretty sure we get pretty close, but here’s how it works.

We each construct in our brain, a model that we call external reality.  We construct these models with sensory input, and alot of the information is accurate.  But the brain can’t tell the difference between accurate information from the eyes, and inaccurate.  It constructs it’s model based on what it has.  This is why we have so many cases now where DNA is proving convicted people to be innocent of crimes for which they were convicted by eyewitness testimony.  What the brain thinks it remembers seeing is more real than it what it actually saw.  And scientifically, we know exactly how this occurs.  20% of vision is seen by the eyes, and 80% is filled in by the brain, from minimal clues.

But we also filter the input.  There is particularly true with information gathered with hearing or reading.  The eyes and ears gather raw data, and the brain attaches meaning to the data, and then evaluates meaning-attached data through various filters and preconceptions – and only then uses the edited data to construct the model of reality through which the brain moves the body.

For example, my sister tells me she bought a “nice, big house.”  A part of my brain translates the sounds my sister’s mouth makes into meaningful words.  Then another part of my brain analyzes what my sister, as an individual, meant by those particular words.  For example, I know the house doesn’t have a fireplace or swimming pool, because my particular sister would have mentioned those things, if it did.  Then my brain creates a model of what my sister’s new house likely looks like, and that becomes reality to me.

So, perception is reality, as far as our brains can tell.  And if there is an external reality that disagrees with our model of reality, it’s irrelevant.  Thus perception trumps reality.

I mean, that Kimbash board had all these different topical boards, but the one board with zero posts was the one “Personal Experiences With Kimba”.  Not only does their perception trump my reality, they don’t even seek real input.

Much of Gor now has the perception that I am so far away from understanding Gor that I wear naked avis when I am portraying a Free Woman.  Nobody wants to know the details, or the context of the particular situation where I did that.  Nobody wants to know the reality.  They just want to take an essentially false generalization, derived from an atypical example – and build a false model of reality around it.

There lies my quandary, and I am inviting people to give feedback to help me solve it.

If I know that perception trumps reality, and I know that the Leader’s reputation is of crucial importance to the success of the Home; how can I ignore false postings that detract from my credibility?

Beyond that, aside from using the boards to publicize it; how would people know what PClaw stands for, how we roleplay, and how we are different?

[rep]

i accept that invitation, though an opinion by a slave might not be what You seek.

i could care less what someone on another site, that i have never met, says or does 'over there', unless Tuchuk gets unceremoniously dragged into it. i do care, greatly, about outside drama that is brought to this website and our Home. The whole 'mess' for lack of a better word, was already on how many websites before You added it here? certainly, if it was added for the need of support, that is understandable but You said their posts were laughable, which made it made it sound like you were just seeking more attention. Next, You went on to specifically say you wouldn't post a link to the board and on the very next line, You did just that. to me, it made no sense except that you were stirring trouble and it gave merit to 'the other side of the story', whatever that might be.

You insulted the very People you came by free will to roleplay with, the Tuchuks. You crossed an ooc 'venting' post with an IC taunt sent directly to every woman of Tuchuk, be it Free or slave. i have no doubt You know of the pride we wear the golden nose rings, in union with our beloved Bosk. furthermore, You said to me that my Home held no more challenges for me (besides rp'ng in the FE.) You couldn't be further from the truth. by making that incorrect assumption, You insult my Master, my trainers, and every family member i interact with, as well as me, as i try to challenge myself too.

those are very important things that i feel You have belittled, yet what comes to mind when i think of You, is something You said:

'a Leader is the lowest slave of all"

that, right there, is something i would never, ever hear from a Tuchuk Free. None. Master Ubar never seizes to amaze me and Master Raziel is in a league of His own with His 'gems' of wisdom but our Council Women, or in fact, any Tuchuk Woman, even the most quiet Ones, would never say that, not out loud and i'm pretty sure not even in private, no matter how upset they might be. while They might carry a burden i simply don't understand, i still can't imagine them equating Themselves and especially a Leader, even in the loosest of terms, with a slave.

does Master Ubar and many others serve Tuchuk? yes! and in so many ways i will never know and remain forever grateful for. is He or They, a slave to Tuchuk? never

between the posts on the board and the words, admittedly dropped pm's, in the rooms i see a lot of ~carefully~...outbursts. maybe it's a Panther thing, maybe to some it is a good thing, but as a slave whom not only values but depends upon Leadership, i find it unsettling in the very least. how can such a Leader control/inspire/direct others, be it Free or slave?

i understand the 'perception versus reality', in this way. by roleplaying a slave, it matters not if i truly respect Somebody, only that i must act/ serve as if i do. like being a professional' in the work place, you work together for the common good, if not the common need. i could think Someone is the biggest Idiot, but i'm still a slave and the belly rules in the end. putting aside Your differences doesn't mean You have to change Your mind, it just means something becomes more important than Your sole beliefs/wants/needs. that is when perception and reality melt together, if only for that moment, and it's beautiful.

whenever You roleplay or post on a board, You run the risk of offending someone or simply being misunderstood and we have all had experiences with both. like in all important matters and with everyone on Gor, or even r/t, it will take time to prove to others, what You already know. until then, You might have to be satisfied with just that. You know and the rest will, eventually.

thank You for bringing new members to Webmaze. may You find happiness in Your Home.

kiah{MTC}

[Kimba~]

Kiah, thanks for your feedback!  Unlike many on Gor, I think that regardless of what our roleplay is, we are all free and equal people OOC, and everybody's opinion counts the same.  So I have no issues with your right to speak your mind to me.

But there are a few things that you said, upon which I would like to shine some light, and perhpas clear up misunderstandings.

The thing about challenge was supposed to be a compliment.  You are an outstanding kajira.  I also know that Rags twisted your arm to stay in the Forest Event after you wanted out.  I tried to combine these two things into a compliment.  You are such an outstanding kajira that it makes sense that Rags would twist your arm into doing something you were not enthusiastic about, nor real good at - to challenge you.  With some slaves, one is content to let them be what they are good at; because perhaps that's all they are capable of.  With others, you keeping pushing them up against new challenges.  I meant to compliment you, by putting you in that second category.  And I am saddened that I did not communicate more effectively.

The nose-ring thing is more complicated:

Tears shone in her eyes and she sank to her knees, trembling, unable to stand, weeping.

I knelt beside her. "It is over now, Elizabeth," I said. "It is finished. You will no longer be hurt. You are no longer a slave. You are free, Elizabeth."  I gently took her braceleted wrists in my hands and removed them from her face.
       
She tried to twist her head away. "Please don't look at me, Tarl," she said.
       
In her nose, as I had suspected, there glinted the tiny, fine golden ring of the Tuchuk woman.
         
"Don't look at me, please," she said.
       
I held her lovely head with its soft dark hair in my hands, gazing on her face, her forehead, her dark, soft eyes, with tears, the marvelous, trembling mouth, and set in her fine nose, delicate and lovely, the tiny golden ring.
         
"It is actually very beautiful," I said.
       
She sobbed and pressed her head to my shoulder. "They bound me on a wheel," she said.

Being earthborn, Vella is revulsed by the nose ring.  Kimba is earthborn.

Me the Typist, I think its a marvelous cultural distinction, and I highly respect the way MTC Tuchuks embrace this tradition, that so many other Tuchuk Homes ignore, because their woman feel the same way about nose rings that I do.  Every time I see a woman rolplaying her nosering, or who has it in her avi; I think, "There is a woman who sets aside her earth sensibilities and roleplays a genuine Tuchuk," and I am positively impressed.

But Kimba Panther already ranks FW below slaves, and slaves below bosk.  She has some really really complicated things going on.  She is wealthy enough to live like a Ubara, if she wants to be a FW; and sexually she responds like a kajira.  So she is constantly struggling with her choices.  This Voyage Storyline is very much about Kimba facing up to the choices she has made, and testing herself against her decisions to see if she still makes them the same way.  So she holds FW and slaves in a strange kind of contempt.  She doesn't deride them to bother them, that's a consequence of the way she derides them to beat down the inner FW and the inner kajira in her own soul, and keep the Panther personna in control.

That insult thread, I should have stayed off it, and will in the future.  I didn't understand it at first, and now that I do; I know it's not a healthy way for me to express myself.  I thought I was returning Sarant's thinly-veiled personal insult with another such.  I spoke to her, I think we cleared up the misunderstanding.  I had no intent to insult Tuchuk women generally, or nose-rings as a concept.  My intent was to communicate that I thought her avi picture with the red nose ring was unattractive.

The other mess to which you refer, unfortunately Tuchuk was "dragged into it" when they started insulting Rags.  Not just there, but even more aggressively on the PG Board.

I meant to post the address of the bash board, and not make a link.  Evidently the board recognized a URL and made it a link anyway, even though I did not add the code to make a link.

Finally, about the Leader/Slave thing; I know most of the Leaders on Gor.  Everybody leads from a different place, and in their own way.

By strange chance, Hunters was the second Gor book I read.  I read Tarnsman, and Hunters was just released.  I wanted to know what happened to Talena, and the back cover of Hunters made it clear that she had been out of the series since Tarnsman, and was now back.  I wanted to read Captive, but thought I should really read the books in order.  So I bought all the books, and took them home to figure out what to do.

Ulitmately I settled on Hunters, Captive and Outlaw as the order to read the books in.  So I got a snout full of Panthers, right off the bat, and I hated them.  I read the books through the eyes of a kajira, I came to online Gor as a kajira, and I roleplayed a kajira until I had reached a point where it was boring.  I had started out as kajira on Compuserve chat in 1991, and played a kajira on IRC since 1993.  I didn't start as a Panther until about 2001, and even then I was just doing it as a way to shop this new realm of HTML chat Gor for a good Master.

Kimba's leadership philosophy of seeing herself as Lead Slave in Charge of All the Things Nobody Else Will Do, is uniquely her own.  While she sees everything through the eyes of a kajira, and filters it through the experience of a kajira, and thinks her experience of Leadership is more universal than it is, and thinks people like Ragnar are deluding themselves - that's Kimba Panther being true to her roleplay.  It doesn't reflect the beliefs of the Typist, and what she knows to be true.

I think the underlying issue here, is something I call "Roleplay Philosophy Out of Phase."  My people and yours roleplay differently.  It doesn't mean we can't roleplay together, it just means that there are bound to be misunderstandings.

[Kimba~]

Back from my dog-walk, I just want to add that this concept of the Leader as "Hindmost" is not original.  It's heavily influenced by Larry Niven's portrayal of the Puppeteer species, in his Tales of Known Space books.  Among the Pupepeteers, you have to be insane to even want to lead, much less do it.

I think Kimba is heavily influenced by CS Friedman's Coldfire Trilogy, particularly Gerald Tarrant.  Tarrant is as unfit a Leader as can be imagined, but is in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the right skills to have Leadership thrust upon him.

And that's another level of twisted, because Kimba believes she has Leadership thrust upon her, and roleplays finding it an unpleasant burden she suffers - whereas OOC I willingly and enthusiastically choose to lead.

I can't summarize these things in concise terms, like I'd like to.  I can provide roleplay scripts where we go into these topics deeper.  They are up now on the PG Board, but got edited, and I'm linking them up on webpages, but it's not done yet

I will be getting this stuff posted at http://www.webmaze.com/memberpages/forestbird/epic.htm

[rep]

Kiah, thanks for your feedback!  

kiah is going to keep this simple, Mistress, with the original thank you for your response along with the high compliment given. she apologizes not for her passionate defense for her Home, family and customs but for not keeping an open mind to the other possible interpretations.

she wishes you well Mistress,

kiah{MTC}