Author Topic: a little laugh :-)  (Read 536127 times)

Offline MageNathaniel1

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1905 on: September 30, 2019, 07:03:06 PM »
a guy with a green, orange, and yellow painted face who has a bird sitting on his head walks into a doctors office. When the doctor comes in asd asks what the problem is, the bird says can you tell me how to het this human off my feet?

Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1906 on: September 30, 2019, 11:48:55 PM »
 :(

Offline MageNathaniel1

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1907 on: October 01, 2019, 06:00:40 AM »
A woman brings her husband to the ER his face all bruised and cut up the nirse asks what happened? She says we were out digging a hole to plant a tree in the garden when he was stung on the forehead by a bee fortunately I was able to shoo the bee away with my shovel

Offline prism {*RgR*1*}

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1908 on: October 01, 2019, 04:22:51 PM »
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$150"
Man - "Sold."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,"How much?"
Boy - "$350"
Man - "Highway robbery. Sold."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your gloves, let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The boy says, "$500"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth with the Priest to confess his sins and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that crap again, you're in my closet now."
~*~~*~
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says...

'Oh shit....she's awake!!'

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Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1909 on: October 01, 2019, 05:16:54 PM »
ROTFLMFTAO!!!!!

Offline MageNathaniel1

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1910 on: October 01, 2019, 06:00:36 PM »
every man should have a woman who is a good cook, a woman who is good in bed, a woman who listens to him, and a woman who looks good at his side, just always remember it is important that none of these women ever meet one another

Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1911 on: October 02, 2019, 05:57:15 PM »
Ahhhh... life is good when one is Ubar...    ;D

Offline MageNathaniel1

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1912 on: October 03, 2019, 04:53:54 AM »
why did the toilet paper roll down the hill.....it needed to get to the bottom

Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1913 on: October 03, 2019, 05:09:14 PM »
 :(

Offline MageNathaniel1

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1914 on: October 03, 2019, 06:02:53 PM »
a guy calls 911 to report that 2 girls are fighting over him, the dispatcher says why is thst a problem, he says because the one I dont like is winning

Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1915 on: October 04, 2019, 05:24:03 PM »
*Chuckles*

Offline MageNathaniel1

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1916 on: October 04, 2019, 06:03:22 PM »
the police ask the dead guy's ex wife if she killed her ex. She replied no, he was killed by a bullet, which is made of lead, lead is a natural element, therefore he died of natural causes.

Offline Shadow duck

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1917 on: October 04, 2019, 11:28:05 PM »
A GUY BUYS HIS FIRST MOTORCYCLE.
The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting. A few months later, the young man's girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents' house. Before they go in, she explains their family tradition that whomever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After dinner, everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break. After 15 minutes, the young man decides to speed things up. He leans over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her. Silence. Desperate, he grabs her mother and has sex with her on the table. Suddenly, they hear thunder rumble in the distance. The guy thinks of his bike and, instinctively, pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket.
"OK, OK," says the father, "I'LL DO THE DISHES
duckie rules

Offline RAGNAR

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1918 on: October 05, 2019, 05:42:47 PM »
A GUY BUYS HIS FIRST MOTORCYCLE.
The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting. A few months later, the young man's girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents' house. Before they go in, she explains their family tradition that whomever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes. After dinner, everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break. After 15 minutes, the young man decides to speed things up. He leans over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her. Silence. Desperate, he grabs her mother and has sex with her on the table. Suddenly, they hear thunder rumble in the distance. The guy thinks of his bike and, instinctively, pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket.
"OK, OK," says the father, "I'LL DO THE DISHES

ROTFLMTAO!!!!!

Offline MageNathaniel1

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Re: a little laugh :-)
« Reply #1919 on: October 05, 2019, 06:01:06 PM »
A guy and his girlfriend are setting up the password for their joint email account. The girlfirend falls over laughing when he tried to use mypenis as the pw and the computer said error not long enough.