a little laugh :-)

[sinnocent]

This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind
of a six year old is. They think so logically.

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little
Pigs to her class.

She came to the part of the story where the first pig
was trying to gather the building materials for his
home.

She read 'and so the pig went up to the man with the
wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir,
but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'

'The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do
you think the man said?'

One little boy raised his hand and said very
matter-of-factly ...'I think the man would have said -
'Well, I'll be damned!! A talking pig!'

The teacher had to leave the room.

[sinnocent]

 this was so funny...
 


"UPS Airlines  --  Just in case you need a laugh:

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review th e gripe sheets before the next flight.
 
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. 
 
 

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

*

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

*

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

*

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

*

P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

*

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

*

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level .

*

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

*

P : IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

*

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

*

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

*

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
*

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

*

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

*

And the best one for last .....

*

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
 

[RAGNAR]

LMTAO

[Raziel]

Mouse in cockpit and cat installed?  LMTAO...oh that hurts!

Raz

[Raziel]

Like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little

Square! You

Actually had to use your Imagination!! And there were no

Multiple levels or

Screens, it was just one screen

Forever!



And you could never win. The game just kept getting

Harder and harder and

Faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

Actually, I played it till I reset the score, several times.  That's how bored I was.

Raz

[sinnocent]

A Marine stationed in Iraq recently received a “Dear John” letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you’ve been gone, and it’s not fair to either of us. I’m sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love, Becky

The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies.

There were 57 photos in that envelope….along with this note:

Dear Becky,

I’m so sorry, but I can’t quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.

 

[flame{NS}]

that was a good one.. lmao... thanks i needed t hat


da flame

[prism {*RgR*1*}]

*howling*

You go Ricky!!!


LOL

[Salem]

I'll have to remember that when I go overseas. lol

[flame{NS}]

 I found this on a proflie on collarme.. and thought it was cute.




Last night, my friend and I were sitting in my living room.  I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

She got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch...

[prism {*RgR*1*}]

LOL!

[Salem]

LMAO Classic !

[sinnocent]

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND
DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE
 
George Phillips of Meridian , Mississippi , was going
up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the
light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the
bedroom window.
 
George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but
saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
 
He phoned the police, who asked 'Is someone in your
house?'
He said 'No.'
 
Then they said 'All patrols were busy. You should lock
your doors and an officer will be along when one is
available.'
 
George said, 'Okay.'
 
He hung up the phone and counted to 60. Then he phoned the
police again. 'Hello, I just called you about a
minute ago because there were people stealing things from
my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now
because I just shot them.' ... and he hung up.
 
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a
Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance
showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the
burglars red-handed.
 
One of the Policemen said to George, 'I thought you
said that you'd shot them!'
 
George said,... 'I thought you said there was nobody
available!'

(True Story) I LOVE IT! Don't mess with old people

[Salem]

As usual, we are constantly learning from the wisdom of our elders.

[Salem]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiqkDm9UoKo