So... I don't often post to the boards. I'm more of a reader, of a 'people watcher'.. It's just what I do.
Lately, though, I've shot my mouth off on a few subjects-- which again, is me. It's just what I do. My general rule is to stay out of it unless my cage is rattled. Then-- I rattle back. Most often times to the point of pissing people off or hurting feelings here and there. While I can't please everyone with what I say, I'm not sorry that there are toes stepped on sometimes. I'm not above getting stomped on, either-- reminds me that everyone needs a touch of humility, including me, to balance their ego. Good for the soul and keeps in the back of our minds that we each are fallable as human beings.
I am a blunt Woman when it comes to most things. This can come off as rude to a lot of people-- to those that know me-- it's just who I am. I reckon that people are strong enough most times to have the truth delivered to them raw-- and when they're not, I ease off the gas a bit, so long as I know they're not at one hundred percent. Occasionally we all need to be handled with a little extra care.
Now... why the sudden explosion of verbal diarrhea? Can't say... maybe I'm softening at the edges a bit, though I hope to the good Lord not---Heaven needs a foul-footed, fry-pan wielding Tuchuk Woman, right? Gotta be on My game. Or... Maybe it's My sudden realization that time is a precious commodity for Me, and I have to get out the things that I need to get said because who knows what's down the road. Whatever the reason, I say this:
You, Tuchuk, are loved.
There isn't one of you... not a ONE... that isn't. Doesn't matter if I've sat around the Campfire and laughed My ass off with you... if I've spanked you with a frying pan... if I've come down hard on you... or if I've traded words with you on the boards. Tuchuk is nothing if not versatile, vivacious, inspiring, and above all, family. I dearly wish I had come to MTC earlier in My years on Gor. I know I don't voice my love often in the way I imagine folks wish I would. But I believe when you love folks, you push them to be their best and to challenge them. Wanting the best for each of you, wanting to see each of you succeed beyond your dreams-- it's just what I do. But.. I want to say this now, while I'm lucid enough to think coherently..
You are what keeps me going. Your interactions with one another, from the serious to the silly-- the relationships that have developed and are constantly growing-- the simple words of encouragement I see on the boards under threads such as 'Prayers and Thoughts'-- these things give me faith that things are still good and right in the world, even on the days when my own seems anything but. You, Tuchuk.. you make me want to strive to be a better person and grow beyond my boundaries. My Brothers, My Sisters, My girls and My boys... I wish you could see yourselves through My eyes. Not one of you would never doubt your individual beauty.... your talents.... your worth... you are each so very priceless. Never forget that.
I think it's real easy for folks, including me, to get caught up words sometimes, angry or otherwise. I could write all day and all night about why I love Tuchuk and the people that make it the best damned Home on Gor. I can also debate anything the live long day-- still, in the end, it comes down to seeing the intent behind those words. My intent? To let you know that you're loved, deeply. Not just one, or a couple-- each of you.
The next several months you will see changes in Me-- some you will like... some, you may not. I will do my best to remain as I have always been, but I will make each one of you a promise, from Ubar down to the very newest slave-- I will not stop loving you. I will do everything in my power to let you each know that you ARE loved, and how much you mean to me. I say this not as 'Nexhias, the Ubara'-- but as plain old me. All I ask-- is for patience. I will need it.
Ever faithfully,
Me
