((posted as Elspeth Wise))
On the way home that night, I stop off at a office supply store for a cardboard file box. Once I get home, I quickly assemble the "fold and tuck" box and drop it in the center of the living room before startomg piling the few things of Ben's in there. From the bathroom I toss his extra electric razor, his toothbrush (but not before I use it to clean that really nasty stuff from the connection on the toilet seat), and a pair of lounge pants he wore once or twice.
I then start on the shelves in the living room. It doesn't take me long to pick up the few figurines he had purchased on various business trips. As I hold each one, I wonder just what "business" he had and how many nights he sat at one of those bars watching the nice young hussies prance about and wish he didn't have me waiting. I rear back and hurl the delicate thing at the box. It misses and breaks into three pieces, the next in half.
My next stop is my closet. I jerk one suit and two casual outfits of hangers. I'm not giving that bastard my good hangers, he can just live with wrinkles. A bit of inspiration hits me and I start looking for the scissors. Ten minutes later, his cloths are wadded up and chunked into the box along with the other stuff...minus a small section of material.
I head back into the bedroom after retrieving the stack of letters, notes, and cards I had saved, I head to my jewelry box. I pull out the only piece of jewelry he ever gave me, a locket. Opening it up, I remove the two amusement booth pictures we had made together on one of our first dates. I look at that smiling face and my stomach turns.
"So how much of it was real, Ben. Some of it? All of it?" I take a deep breath and sigh, the hurt just getting deeper and deeper as I question ever move, every word, every touch of our entire relationship. "Any of it?" Suddenly rage surges through and I crumple the small pictures in my hands and march toward the kitchen. I light a candle and burn each one until he's no longer showing. I put them back in the locket and drop both the locket and stack of momentos in too. I grab some paper and scribble a little "love" note.
May you get an STD and it fall off
Sincerly,
E
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I tape the lid down tight and shove the box toward the door, it easily glides across the carpet. It may be petty and over-the-top, but that's the only revenge I'll allow myself. I want to lash out, I want to hurt him like I'm hurting, but I'm too afraid I'd loose control, and he's just not worth it. Not anymore.
With a broken heart and a wounded spirit, I stumble to bed and those damn nightmares again.