WEBMAZE Community
Gorean Roleplay => Tuchuk Wagon Camp => MTC OOC => Topic started by: kadi{MTC} on May 17, 2007, 07:44:27 AM
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>>>Why We Love Children
>>>
>>>1. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but
>>>it was
>>>dead.
>>>'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.
>>>'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the
>>>child
>>>innocently.
>>>'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
>>>'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and
>>>it
>>>didn't move'
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes
>>>later.....'Da-ad....'
>>>'What?'
>>>'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?'
>>>'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
>>>Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....'
>>>'WHAT?'
>>>'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'
>>>I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'
>>>Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'
>>>'WHAT!'
>>>'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'
>>>
>>>
>>>3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into
>>>mischief,
>>>finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?'
>>>The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and
>>>in and
>>>
>>>out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's
>>>sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!''
>>>
>>>
>>>4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was
>>>tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when
>>>he
>>>asked with a tremor in his voice, 'Mummy, will you sleep with me
>>>tonight?'
>>>The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
>>>'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.'
>>>A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
>>>'The big sissy.'
>>>
>>>
>>>5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the
>>>children's sermon.
>>>All the children were invited to come forward.
>>>One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as
>>>she sat
>>>
>>>down, the minister leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty
>>>dress.
>>>Is it your Easter Dress?'
>>>The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on
>>>microphone, 'Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron.'
>>>
>>>
>>>6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three
>>>year
>>>old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into
>>>the
>>>shower.
>>>She said, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!'
>>>I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her
>>>tummy.'
>>>'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your bum?'
>>>
>>>
>>>7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,
>>>'Two
>>>plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
>>>Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine....'
>>>His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you
>>>doing?'
>>>The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.'
>>>'And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother
>>>asked
>>>'Yes,' he answered.
>>>Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, 'What are
>>>you
>>>teaching my son in math?'
>>>The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.'
>>>The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two,
>>>that
>>>son of a bitch is four?'
>>>After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, 'What I taught
>>>them
>>>was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'
>>>
>>>
>>>8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of
>>>Chicken
>>>Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where
>>>Chicken
>>>Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '.... and so Chicken
>>>Little
>>>went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is
>>>falling!'
>>>The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think
>>>that
>>>farmer said?'
>>>One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said:
>>>'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!''
>>>The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
>>>
>>>
>>>9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I'm
>>>Mr.
>>>Sugarbrown's daughter.'
>>>Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane
>>>Sugarbrown.'
>>>The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr.
>>>Sugarbrown's daughter?'
>>>She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'
>>>
>>>
>>>10. A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play
>>>with the
>>>boys?'
>>>Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're too
>>>rough.'
>>>The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, If I
>>>can
>>>find a smooth one, can I play with him?'
>>>
>>>
>>>11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
>>>She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair
>>>cut,
>>>eating a snack cake The barber says to her, 'Sweetheart, you're
>>>gonna
>>>get hair on your muffin.'
>>>She says, 'Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too.'
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Oh lord.... *laffs*
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LMTAO! ha ha! ;D
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they were all so cute.. BOL