(I have already told Ubar and Krul and a few Sisters this so now I am sharing with the family.)
Has some of you know I am just now returning online after nearly a year and a half abscence. While I am enjoying being back, it's shadowed rt by some major "unknown" health problems. I am no longer in Florida and had to change Doctors, in the process of this and the normal tests done to complete a new medical chart, it was discovered that I have some health problems that are going to require exstensive testing. Between this and working, and kids I'm afraid that my moods aren't the greatest and well in light of a sitution last night, I'm realizing that there is going to have to be times when I'm just not in Camp even though I maybe online.
ON TO OTHER THINGS ON MY MIND:
Rags, I apoligize for what happen last night. I know what you and I talked about on the phone as far as what you wanted to see happen this past week with camp. I wasn't ignoring you. I wasn't blowing you off. I just needed to be ME last night, and it wasn't and isn't that I don't take the losses in MTC to heart, cause I do. I just needed to smile last night and in my heart I felt that there were others that also needed that last night.
": the Commander of the Outriders charges into the middle of the wagons seething with fury.
we have lost a thousand bosk and as yet an untold number of our family. yet i see people laughing and carrying on as if nothing had happened. WHERE ARE YOUR HEADS AND YOUR HEARTS??!!! have you all forgotten what it means to be Tuchuk?
the Commander grabs his lance in both hands and bends it past the point of doubling it until it snaps. he hurls it to the ground and rips off his helmet and throws it down as well.
"if this is what Tuchuk has become... and this is what i am meant to defend and die for if need be... then it is not worth my life."
the Warrior rides to his wagon gathering a few personal possessions and leaves never to return"
He asked had we forgotten what it ment to be a Tuchuk, but then he turned and walked out on that same family that he just chastised us for not caring about. How does that show his caring? I tried to help by lifting spirits of those around me, I mourn differently then others. Do not think that it doesn't bother me, but do not judge me for not doing things your way either. Laughter heals the soul and heart. Pain and death are a part of life, but so is remembering that life does go on after death. I would rather see my family laughing and happy then in sorrow and tears, even when I am gone to CoD that will be my wish.
That said, I will be around when I can.
Sandra
