A choice had to be made and I found the strength in me.
As I walked out the door I realized you had made me feel again and I was the better for it.
A sound caught in my throat, as silent prayers lifted toward the heavens that you wouldn’t let me go. You didn’t follow or even call out, only left me to my blessed silence. Perhaps prayers were answered from the strength I had to show. As I left, a gentle smile caressed my lips as I grieved and the tears flowed. I realize the choice was always mine, there were no lies only truths between us.
But I couldn’t lay there in your arms as lover or friend. The inner struggle to given in and simply live the moment was over taken by the strength in me. As a friend I understand all that happens between us, as a lover the awareness is also clear in my soul. In your hours of need I will always be there, but in the hours of my need you became as the water of a sleeping pond. There is no need to gaze into the future, or watch the present glide by. The haunting of your eyes, the beautiful smile and the bold wrapping of your comforting arms around my form didn’t sway me. A choice had to be made and I found the strength in me.
Christiana
