I've been trying to think about exactly what to say to you, hon.. I said a bit of it last night in camp, but I don't feel like I've said enough.
Some of my memories have never come back to me after the accident.. However, it's funny what little things do remain.. I remember silly things like Kiril riding to the Alars on a verr because he decided that he was afraid to ride a kaiila. I remember my vulo trainer antics that made phoebe start laughing out loud at work and made her look like a nut.. I remember the night when Kan became "Sugar Tushie" to me..
and..
I remember the very first day this girl came into camp, without a clue in the world of what she was doing.. I can recall her telling me about five bazillion times that she would never get it. I can recall telling her, over and over, to just trust me to see in her what she wasn't seeing in herself just yet.. I remember all of these ups and downs.. successes and mistakes.. I can remember having to be firm and perhaps tell her what she didn't want to hear.. but I can also remember how good it felt to promote her and to see her reach her goals.. and to see her become what I'd told her that she was all along.. See, even though she started as my trainee way back as a kettle slave, and remained there, learning and growing.... She also became my friend OOC as well...
Through the last few years, we've seen ups and downs, yet we've remained friends through everything.. We've had out disagreements, but we've always come away from those as friends.. I know you are hurting so much right now, and for that, my heart breaks.. You also know that you have my support in whatever you decide to do.. I do love ya, hon..
I hope that your heart mends, and you can find the strength to return. I hope that you will learn a lesson that it took me a very long time to learn.. That is, lean on those who love you for strength.. Ya see, you can borrow theirs when you don't have it.. They can't take your pain, but they can make it bearable.. Know that you are loved, and find comfort in that..
I do love ya, hon... no matter what..
Love,
Yaya
