Here's how I draw the line -- and why I feel comfortable signing my name to the new text in red:
-If I decide to share my VT-caused frustrations with a friend in a RT setting/context, I have not crossed a line. I needed a shoulder. I vented. My breathing returned to normal. The conversation began and ended on the island of two ears. End of story.
-If I decide to take my RT-based conversation with Shoulder A to the ears of Shoulder B, causing my second friend to know the cause of my frustration AND the personal views of Shoulder A, that is gossip. I have crossed a line.
-If I vented to Shoulder A -just- so I could draw out and report Shoulder A's personal views to the world in general, I am a malicious ass who should be excommunicated from the home whose trust I have abused.
-If Shoulders A and/or B take my own views, which were expressed in confidence, to others -- THEY have crossed the line, not me. Sucks to be them when others figure out what a malicious ass they are.
-If someone vents to me, and I run to the source of my venter's frustration with gums flapping, I have crossed a line.
-However, I reserve the right to disclose such information which is potentially harmful to the venter or to others if kept silent, just as I would if one of my students disclosed being abused or committing a crime. There is a difference between being a snitch and aiding and abetting. I will always ask myself, "If I say nothing about what I was just told, will others be hurt, or will a wrong go unpunished?"
There is a big difference between being a friend and being a gossip; between listening to what is shared and reporting to others what is shared; and between being a snitch and aiding and abetting a crime against our home.
