_Because I am a Man f.t.d.
_Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a
coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an
option. I will win.
_________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the
hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, 'I used to be
able
to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I
wouldn't know where to start.' We will then drink a couple of beers and
belch, in an ancient and honored male bonding ritual.
_________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup
and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You
never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
_________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items
like 'cumin' or 'tofu.' For all I know, these are the same thing.
____________________________________ _____________
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me
twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
together.
_________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole
show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator instead (applies to engineers only).
_________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances
are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't...and if you are
feeling
amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the
name and
recommend it to others.
_________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. It does not make your
rear
look too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and Margaritas that did
that.
Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
_________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, and this is after all, the year 2008, I will share
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like
wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.
_________________________________________________
THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE TO HELP WOMEN BETTER UNDERSTAND
MEN.
*howling laughter*
*scrams*
