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MTC OOC / Re: ...Izee's Thread

« Last post by Izee on June 29, 2025, 10:30:36 PM »

People engage in amazing pastimes, but this...

https://youtu.be/4CSOwxhGvmY?si=QD8El_Mz_JVtnKSa

Color me NO F---ING WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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MTC OOC / Re: ...Izee's Thread

« Last post by Izee on May 29, 2025, 08:58:55 PM »

...Being a 'Drama Queen' on the cello.   

I really enjoyed studying the cello when I was in the Conservatory.  Spending hours every day in a closet sized 'practice room' was something I got used to.  It was also very challenging to figure out which finger to use to play a note.  Any finger can play any note, but my little fingers are abnormally short, (I have 'mutant hands,)' they only come up to halfway between the first and second knuckles of my ring finger, so the tip of my little finger is almost two inches lower than the tip of my ring finger.  My other fingers are only about 1/2 an inch shorter than my middle finger.  Anyway....

When playing music on a string instrument, you have to figure out which finger to use, and you want to keep your hand in the same position as much as possible, sliding your hand around can lead to landing in the wrong place and ALL the notes you play will be out of tune.  But I enjoyed shifting into different positions, and practiced very hard on getting the hand into the right place.

The fingerboard, the jet black wood that the strings get pressed against, is about three feet long on a cello, so you are moving your left hand a lot when you play advanced works.  There was a Sonata that I was working on where you had to move the hand very far.  You were playing a D natural in 1st Position on the A string, and then you had to move up an octave to play another D natural way the hell up the A string for the next note.  So, I would play the lower D with my 3rd finger, and then quickly slide my hand up to play the higher D with the same finger.  So, there would be a slight squealing sound as I slid my finger between the notes.

My private teacher was a prim and proper Englishman, and he said that the sliding was not 'acceptable', and wrote out a fingering where I played the lower D on the D string.  That put my hand way up the fingerboard, so I just had to move my 3rd finger across to the A string to play the higher D.  He said that it was more precise, and sounded better.  So, in lessons I used his fingering.  But...came my recital...

I liked the excitement of sliding up the A string, and the passage was very quick and powerful, and marked 'play very loud', so at the recital I did it my way, and slid up the string.

The audience liked it, but I got scolded by my teacher who said that he would not write out fingerings if I was not going to follow them.  I just hung my head, and said that I got carried away during the performance and wasn't thinking about fingerings.   

I don't think that he bought my excuse, but would suggest fingerings in later lessons.

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MTC OOC / Re: ...Izee's Thread

« Last post by Izee on April 19, 2025, 04:02:35 AM »

...Drawing 'Sex Signs' all over Audit Papers...

When I was practicing Public Accounting, I was often assigned to audit the books of businesses that were struggling.  I had been taught to use signs to show that I had performed a certain task.  For instance, I would draw a little 'w' under the bottom of a column of figures to show that I had verified that the sum was correct.  I would also use a check mark to show that I had traced where the amount was placed elsewhere in the records, and a reversed check mark to show that I had verified that the number came from somewhere in the records.

I came up with an idea to simplify when one sheet of paper had a lot of numbers that needed to be verified.  I would draw a little circle above the number, and then a little arrow on the circle pointing at where the matching number was.  I would then draw a circle beside that number and a little arrow pointing back at the other number.  I would also write a number inside the circle, and then on another sheet of paper a list of the numbers and a brief explanation of what it was.  I thought it was very clever...

Back at the Office, after I had audited a company, I got summoned to the Partner's Office who had that company as a client.  He demanded to know why I had drawn 'sex signs' all over the audited records.     (We all know that a circle with an arrow at the top is 'male', whereas a circle with a cross under it is 'female'.  The guys used to say that the female symbol was Venus's 'Looking Mirror'.)  I did my best to explain, and he finally just dismissed me, saying, "Just write a number, no need to draw sex signs all over the official audited records."

Being me, I continued to use my method...except when doing an audit for that partner...

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MTC OOC / Re: ...Izee's Thread

« Last post by Izee on April 16, 2025, 05:31:58 AM »

...Burros...

In Girl Scouts, our Troop would go to a nice Summer Camp for two weeks in July.  The Camp had a large Mess Hall, with REALLY lousy food...except for Sunday dinner, we would EACH get HALF of a BBQ'd CHICKEN!  We wouldn't stay in the Cabins, we would set up an outdoor camp on the facility, and sleep on cots that held our sleeping bags.  But, we would go on a five day outing, which was an Event.  We would hike for about 7 miles, and get to a place where there was a small lake.  Since we were away from public humanity, well, some of us would get naked to swim and bathe, and just to sun ourselves.  The Adults tried to stop us, but we would go a ways away and swim, so they let us, but told us older girls to stay by ourselves.

Since we would bring a lot of cooking gear and food, we would check out two burros that were in the Camp.  The Camp had a bunch of burros for people to borrow to carry supplies, and also so the City Kids could see a farm animal.  The burros were very tame, and I would often go to their corral and feed them carrots that I 'obtained' from the Mess Hall.  The woman who supervised the burros just let me visit them when she saw that I stayed out of the corral.

So, when we headed out on our five day hiking trip, I 'volunteered' (demanded) that I be allowed to lead one.  The Adult Leader agreed, she knew that I would get onery if she had someone else lead the burro.

Leading the burro was harder than I expected.  They can be onery, and the walk out of the Camp started with a hike up the side of the Mountain that was almost vertical, there was a switchback trail we had to use.  I had to pull hard on the harness to get it to keep moving, but we made it, and I was exhausted.  The rest of the hike was pretty level, so it was uneventful.  At the camp we set up at the Lake, I had to visit the burros several times a day to check on them, and to bring them grain, and grass after they ate all of the vegetation in their area.  So, I was happy when we headed back.

Thing about burros, they are VERY smart animals, and they KNEW that we were heading back to the Main Camp as we left, and they were very familiar with the trail.  And they REALLY wanted to get home!  So, the burro was PUSHING me along a I led it...I really mean it...if I slowed my walk it would push its' nose against my back and push.  It was probably also saying, in Goateese, "Keep YOUR ass moving, little girl!"  I actually got tired, and a little pissed off, so at the second rest stop, I appointed my Assistant Leader to handle my goat, and I just stayed in the back of the Troop.  But, we all got back, fine.

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MTC OOC / Re: ...Izee's Thread

« Last post by Izee on March 22, 2025, 08:38:47 PM »

Being a H.S. Computer 'Nerd'.....

In Jr H.S. I just 'knew' that I would become a Scientist when I grew up, so I focused my attention on Math and Science Courses, and also had Chemistry as a Home Project.  I did experiments that I laughed at when I was told to do them in H.S., I said that I had already done them at home.  So, when computers came out, my friends and I did all we could to get to work with them.  The Teachers created an After school computer club, and 7 of us were regulars.  We mostly worked with a 'Monrobot', it was a computer the size of a large desk, and you would program it with 'punched tape'.  That was a pain, after you wrote out the program on a sheet of paper, you then had to type the characters into a machine that would punch holes in a long roll of thick paper.  The tape was about two inches wide, and you would wind it onto a spool, and feed it into the computer.  In the following years we graduated to 'punch cards' and that was fun!  We had these long narrow boxes that the cards would fit into, and we thought that we were the School Brainy Kids 'cause we walked around campus with a box of cards in addition to books.  I was ALWAYS eager to open the box and show it to younger kids.

We were excited when we were allowed access to the School District Computer Center at the Administration Building.  We had to wear nametags that had metal borders that had some sort of sensors in them that would make it impossible for us to open certain doors, or would set off an alarm if we walked down a wrong hallway.  So, we entered through one back door, and stayed in the hallway that directly led to the computer rooms. 

Back then, computers were HUGE things that had a lot of dials and lights, and the printers were very loud.  I spent a lot of time in there, and was attracted to one printer, it was almost musical.  When printing fast it made high pitched buzzing sounds that were at various musical pitches depending on the characters being printed.  Over the course of a few months, I would experiment at what notes the printer made when it typed characters.  So, I worked hard, on the side, on a special program, and didn't tell anyone what I was doing.  I got the program done, and spent a long time at the machine making the punch cards, they almost completely filled a box.

One afternoon they brought in a bunch of Big Shots to view how we 'gifted children' were learning a useful skill.  The men and women smiled, seeing us, and asked to see a program run so they could see that we knew what we were doing.  The Manager pushed me forward, saying, "This girl is one of the most creative and skilled in programming."  They asked to see a program run...so I got out my 'special box'...no one had seen the program, yet.  The Big Shots were impressed seeing me load a huge stack of cards into the feeder, and then push buttons, and the cards disappeared into the machine.  The Printer came awake, and then began furiously printing sheet after sheet of paper...The characters it printed completely filled the sheets...and the pitch of the printer changed as it played, as it typed...

The Marine Anthem...."From the Halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli..."

The Manager turned the printer off, and told the Big Shots who were hiding smiles..."She CAN do serious stuff, but has a bit of an attitude..."

The Manager told me to inform him whenever I was going to run a program, and NOT to waste time with silly stuff...

...I just nodded...

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MTC OOC / Re: ...Izee's Thread

« Last post by Izee on March 09, 2025, 09:08:00 PM »

Daym...I should have gotten the nerve to play a cello sonata clothed like this!!!

https://youtube.com/shorts/el0FAuPIDvg?si=fSdhaqAj3BQR0yjC

But the other half of the gown would have fallen off, and well...

That is the nice part about playing the cello...you hold it in front of you in the right position and all of your 'naughty bits' are covered...

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MTC OOC / Re: ...Izee's Thread

« Last post by Izee on March 02, 2025, 10:31:17 PM »

...One way to win over a Jury...

I have read, and from speaking to people, that Jurors will make up their mind over who is the better Attorney and who has the better case VERY early in a Trial.  Many of us believe that the Attorney who makes the best opening statement will win, unless his client and his witnesses fall apart.  I tend to believe that, I have seen Jurors eyes glaze over and they fall asleep when an Attorney does a poor opening statement.  So, I ALWAYS prepared VERY HARD to prepare for my opening statement.  I also memorized as much as possible, and would rehearse in front of a mirror.  I also did a rather crude method to memorize each section of my statement.  I would make up a phrase for each section, and write them down.  Then, a couple days before the Trial, I would rehearse the phrases, and in my mind, "NAIL THEM TO MY BODY!!!"  So, after I stood up to give my opening, I would think of my feet, and the phrase that I had 'nailed' there would pop into my head.  I would then think of my ankles, and the same would happen, and work my way up my body.  I would also just sit, looking TOTALLY bored as the other side did their statement, trying to get the Jury to see that I wasn't concerned with ANYTHING he was saying.

Once, I got the opportunity to TOTALLY DISRUPT the other Attorneys opening statement.  The rules are that you have to stay quiet during an opening statement, in order to let the other attorney present his case.  Also, in CA, the Plaintiff gave the statement first, the Defense gave theirs, and then the Plaintiff attorney could do a rebuttal to the Defense opening statement.  The Plaintiff has the burden of proof to establish his case, so he gets to reply in the opening of the trial. 

We were in the Superior Court, and it was a BIG case, and the Plaintiff Attorney presented his case well in his opening.  I got up, all I could do in the case was to minimize the damages to my client, so I did my best.  I guess that I did well, because the plaintiff attorney was ANGRY when he did his rebuttal.  Now...I have a very unusual last name, but it is a common word, and the Attorney began using it with common phrases that described my opening as being full of inaccuracies.  ('Cept the phrase wasn't polite... )  I just sat, and began to get angry when he kept repeating the phrase...and I finally stood and quite loudly made an Objection that is NOT in any Trial Textbook...

..."OBJECTION YOUR HONOR, COUNSEL IS MAKING FUN OF MY NAME!!!".

I sat my butt down, thinking..."Did I just do what I did?"...

The Attorney stopped, and stared at me...the Judge also stared, but didn't rule on my objection...and I DID NOT ask for a ruling...

The Attorney finished and didn't use that phrase again...

I didn't look over at the Jury while this was happening, I wasn't thinking about them until I sat my butt down.  But, I guess that it went well, I got an unexpected Verdict in MY CLIENTS favor, the Jury didn't give the plaitiff anything, and a few Jurors asked me for my business card at the end of the Trial.

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MTC OOC / Re: ...Izee's Thread

« Last post by Izee on February 27, 2025, 07:44:11 PM »

...Corporate Manager Retreats...

One year, the Corp I worked for put on a Managers Retreat that would last a week.  Me, and the other Managing Attorneys in the Corp did NOT want to attend, we needed to stay in our Offices and work on the large caseloads that our Offices maintained.  But, when I got a 'PERSONAL' call from the Corp VP in charge of Personnel...I said I would attend.     We all showed up at a very nice resort in the Sierras, and the food was plentiful, and we were welcome to DRINK all that we wanted.  My boss did inform me that he was keeping an eye on me and the other Attorneys, and expected us to be moderate in our alcohol consumption, and to demonstrate that we were 'Professionals'... ...(so we Attorneys drank heavily in private... )

It was a 'stupid' event, it was run by a bunch of young 'know-nothings' who thought they could provide 'Teambuilding' techniques to get us all to work better together.  We just sat together to the side of the Hall and pretended to be attentive. 

In one event several of us were handed kazoos, and told to perform for everyone.  There were 8 of us selected, and I was the last in line.  I sat, and listened as the others did Jingle Bells, and other short tunes, and I was trying to remember how to play a kazoo.  After all, a woman who had majored in performing on the cello and piano wasn't very familiar with ANY wind instrument, much less the delicate device called the 'Kazoo'.  I was also getting VERY angry and frustrated, I had several cases back at the Office that were in serious conditions with Trials coming up, and here I was sitting on a stage holding a kazoo. 

Well, I decided to SHOW my frustration in my performance, so when I was called upon, I stood, and on the kazoo, performed...

..."Vesti da Giubba" from the Opera "Pagliacci"...

It took a little while, I kazooed the whole Aria AND acted it out, except for the crying part, and my face was crimson with exertion.  Just try REALLY emoting on the kazoo...

The Moderator told me, when I finished, and I was panting with oxygen starvation...

..."OK, that was very nice, now let's take a break"...

I looked over at my Boss, and he had his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking with laughter   

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MTC OOC / Re: ...Izee's Thread

« Last post by Izee on February 24, 2025, 05:45:35 PM »

...OK, so the Packers want the NFL to ban the 'Tush Push' play that the Eagles run so well.  They say that it is not fair because the defense can't line up the same way.

The Tush Push is only good for a yard, or two, and, other teams don't seem to be able to run it well, and they have tried.  I suppose that is because the Eagles practice it more, those practice session must be interesting.  "D--- it, Smith!!!!  REALLY PUSH ON JONES BUTT!"

...SHEESH!!!

I thought that football was played by MEN!  Not a bunch of pantywaists!  "Oh mu, oh my, Official, that play just isn't FAIR" they whine!

I guess that they had better go over to the women's 'Flag Football' League.  With men getting into women's sports because they claim that they are really 'Susan' inside, that will probably happen.  So, a 125 lb genetic female will have to try to block a large, 278 lb male who has taken female hormones and grown a set of tits.

Our Society has lost ALL Common Sense...