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41

MTC OOC / Re: ...Izee's Thread

« Last post by Izee on December 06, 2024, 03:02:50 PM »

...Playing Brahms...*Sigh*...

I have been blessed to have performed so many works by Brahms in my life.  Being a semi-professional cellist and pianist allowed me sample so many of his works.  I have played in Orchestras and performed the Symphonies and the Major Overatures.  I studied his piano works, and performed one his well known Rhapsodies.  I worked very hard on his Cello Sonatas, and did perform this one...

https://youtu.be/J7ecdXzSADE?si=-vPMjOeY1wyI1jRE

It is a very eerie work, the opening theme is very ominous...I always sensed that there was something hidden in the wings of the stage that was ready to come out and snatch me away.  It does lighten up in a few spots, and the cello does emit a lot of sighs in the slow passages...as if giving up, and then resigning itself to continue.

But around 6:40, the mood changes, and the work gets VERY angry!!!  When I perform a solo or small ensemble work, I get very emotionally involved.  I feel what the music is trying to express, and it helps me play the passage.  I was mostly pensive during the work, but at that point I would begin to get angry...MY body would get hot, and I would clench my teeth and move my body more as I played.  Once, when rehearsing, I got TOO caught up, and got VERY ANGRY.  I got to the end of the section, just HAMMERING my bow across the strings as I played the arpeggios, and was breating hard.  I finished, and then just kicked the stand over, and got up as the pianist was in his passage.  I CAREFULLY set my cello and bow in the case, and then just walked out of the practice rooms.  A couple students had been standing outside the room, listening, and they got OUT of my path as I walked by,

I have never smoked...but if I did...I would have lit up outside.  I just paced back and forth, and my pianist came out, and watched me.  A couple times he started to approach, but held back when I waved him away...

It took me a while, but I calmed down, and said that we had better stop for the evening.  He packed up my cello for me, and slung the case over his shoulder and guided me to the Bar that was across the street and bought me a beer.  I asked for a brandy, so he bought me a shot, and I slugged it down...choked a bit...and then began sipping the beer.  We talked for a while, and he asked why I had gotten so upset.  "You played that difficult passage very well" he told me, "You really brought the hidden meaning out."  I finished the beer, and signaled for another one.  The bartender grinned as he set it in front of me, and nodded to my friend...he probably thought that I was loosening up for action later...

I never got THAT angry when playing again, there must have been something going on inside of me that I wasn't aware of.

... ...I did, and have experienced 'dry orgasms' when performing music.  Those are kind of fun.  They are all in the mind, my panties stay dry but my mind experiences the same feelings as when the other end of my body is being 'serviced'.  I am able to keep playing, though...

42

MTC OOC / Re: ...Izee's Thread

« Last post by Izee on November 30, 2024, 07:30:18 PM »

...When I wimped out in a Jury Trial...

I had a very amusing case that I just couldn't handle...so I handled it in a very professional manner...

...I RE-ASSIGNED IT to my new Associate Attorney...

It wasn't a very large case, and liability was clear against my client, so it was just about keeping the damages as low as possible.  Problem was the PLAINTIFF'S ATTORNEY!!!!

Ever encounter someone who just rubbed you the wrong way when you first met them?  And then he kept doing so, no matter what you did?

The Attorney was a 'bottom feeder', he had a small practice and mostly handled low level criminal Cases assigned to him by the County because the Defendant couldn't afford to hire a real attorney.  I handled high level personal injury and business and tax cases,  , so I was out of his League.  He was Hispanic...I am half Hispanic, my Mother's maiden name was Rodriguez, and we just didn't mix.  He was FULL of himself, and he was a short, ugly little man with a Zapata mustache.  During discovery, he kept subtly needling me in ways that I had never encountered before.  I actually lost my temper during a deposition...first and ONLY time that ever happened...and I YELLED at him...ON THE RECORD!!!...and stomped out.  We had a Court Ordered Arbitration, and I ALMOST lost my temper again.  I won the Arbitration...he rejected it...so the case was ordered to a Jury Trial.

I STEWED in my Office trying to figure out how I was going to handle myself...you get THAT angry in front of a Jury...and you LOSE the case...unless they are also angry at the other side.  I FINALLY figured out what to do...I called in my newest attorney and said, "Hey, Trevor, you are going to have your first Jury Trial!"  He asked, "When?"...I responded, "In two weeks!"  He almost shit himself...

But, I worked closely with him every day, and helped him compose his Opening Statement, and assured him that since I was also the Attorney of Record, that I would sit in the Courtroom and watch and counsel him.  I also told him that if it was going sideways that I would step in and take it over...

So, we arrived at the Courthouse, and I helped him set up at the Table, and then stepped back across the bar and sat in the gallery...I was the ONLY person watching the trial.  The trial got going, and I consulted with Trevor and helped him select the Jury.  I tried to do as little as possible when the Jury was present...they might think that Trevor didn't know what he was doing.  Anyway, things were OK until the Opening Statements...

The Plaintiff Attorney went first, and gave the most BIZARRE opening statement that I have EVER HEARD!!!!  He was waxing eloquent on how his client used to sit in the backyard under a tree, and play his guitar while his wife lovingly watched and listened from the kitchen window, and both were devastated that he couldn't do it anymore.     I just sat, and looked bored...but Trevor was fidgeting...he was wondering if he should object.  I had an eye on the Jury, and they were getting pissed...it was a little fender bender auto accident...and the Plaintiff was a Construction Worker who looked very healthy. 

The other Attorney then made the most OUTRAGEOUS statement, and Trevor panicked!!!!  He actually turned in his chair and looked back at me for a sign of what to do.  I did my best to look calm and just shrugged...when my instincts were to stand up and give the Baseball "STAY" hand gestures that 3rd base coaches give to keep a runner on second!     He turned back around, and I could see a number of Jurors grinning...they saw where the Queen Bitch was sitting!  I just stayed quiet.

Trevor won the case, big time, and I only had to counsel him a few times on what to do.

43

MTC OOC / Re: ...Izee's Thread

« Last post by Izee on November 27, 2024, 04:41:46 AM »

...Panthering... ....Grrrrrrrrrr

I have had several Chars that I lived as on Gorean Sites, and had some fun with all.  I was usually a FW, I just didn't have the self-discipline and confidence to r/p a slave.  I tried, a couple times, but washed out very quickly.

One of my fondest memories and fun times was when I attempted Panthering.  Rags was having the Annual Forest Event, and I entered as 'Izee' a Char inspired by Native North American Women.  I quickly met the 'Dreaded Kimba', and we HIT IT OFF!!!  She was a very imaginative r/per, and accepted me when I approached as Izee'.  I had a BLAST as Izee', I was the Lairs Huntress, there was the Firekeeper and some Scouts and Warriors, and had some good times.  Rags toyed with us a lot, and some male typists were kind enough to send Chars in to realistically hunt us, and we had a good time evading them and finally slaughtering them.     We had some humerous times.  Kimba would disguise me and herself to appear to be civilized FW Merchants, and we would go into a town.  Of course, things happened, Kim and I would beat feet, steal kaila, climb walls to escape when we were made.  Izee' at the time couldn't speak a lot of Gorean, so she spoke in short, simple sentences, and Izee' LOVES chocolate.  So, Kim would be dealing with a Merchant, and Izee' would be looking around for a Candy Seller to obtain chocolate and would nag Kim to get the Merchant to include chocolate in any deal.

But, we had challenging episodes, and sometimes one, or both of us, would get wounded.  Once, Izee' was badly injured, and Kim buried her, with only her head showing, in sand to heal.  Kim would attract male admirers, and Izee' would stay clear.  But, Izee' did encounter Marcus Hrolfson...and they became close and Companioned when they were living in a City.  Marcus was a very popular r/per, and the Ceremony and Feast when Marcus and Izee' Companioned was attended by a lot of typists. 

I mourned, r/t, when Marcus's Typist died, but couldn't speak much of his death to my r/t Husband.  He would have thought that I was cybering sexual encounters, but the Typist and I never did such.  We did r/p cuddling and kissing, and dealing with the aftermath, but never got down to describing who did what to whom, and how.  My Husband wasn't interested in r/p, especially Gorean.  I had gotten him to read one of the Novels, and he said it was the WORST and TRASHIEST novel he had ever read.

I did read, somewhere, that John Norman started writing the Gor Novels on a bet with Harlan Ellison that he could write SF Novels that were SO BAD that NOBODY would read them.  Shit, me, a refined woman with a lot of letters after my name read pretty much ALL of them...I confess.   

Anyway, Gorean r/p was a lot of fun, and also a real challenge to my sensibilities.  I also learned things about myself that were difficult at times, but actually helped me in r/t.  Funny thing...I would get partly into my Panther Huntress state of mind during a Jury Trial, and it was much easier to maintain control.  The other side would pull a fast one, and the Izee' in me would snort, and say, "That all ye got?"...and I would handle it well.  A few times the Observer that the Insurance Company would send to watch the Trial would tell me later that day, "How did you handle that?  I thought they got you."  I didn't tell him that I sicced Izee' on the other side...Izee' liked a good fight...

Hey, some truth about Jury Trials.  The LAWYERS are very important witnesses I learned.  Jurors will look at the Lawyers to see how they react to Evidence, that helps them decide what is true and what is important.  When the other side was putting on a good witness, I just sat and looked bored...I didn't scribble notes over what was being said...UNLESS it was SOMETHING that helped MY CASE!

44

MTC OOC / Re: ...Izee's Thread

« Last post by Izee on November 24, 2024, 09:06:59 PM »

...Playing the NOTES, vs playing the MUSIC...

Learning to play the piano was quite an experience.  Like all beginners, I was focused on just getting the correct finger to land on the correct key at the correct time.  As my technique developed, I wanted to play faster, and land more fingers on the keyboard to play complex chords.  So I spent hours every day practicing, and got more skilled.  But, sometimes I was just feeling cold as I played, nothing was being transmitted...

At Conservatory, I was amazed at how some students could have you on the edge of your seat listening as they played the piano, while with others you just slumped in your chair and looked at your watch and thought about other things.  That is when it began to sink in to me that a truly skilled musician can make the same note sound so different.  Try it the next time you are at a piano.  You can hold your wrist tight, and pound the piano with a stiff finger...you can gently bring your hand down...you can place your hand just above the keyboard and just drop a finger...and there is more.

(Shaping a note on the cello has more possibilities.  You can vary the pressure that the bow places on the string in many ways, and the note sounds different.  You can relax your shoulder and let the full weight of your arm fall onto the string, and you can use your fingers and wrist to modify the pressure.  Raising and lowering your right elbow also affects the sound.  And the left hand, well you can press with your fingers and you can also pull your hand back with your arm to put more pressure on the string.  And, of course...VIBRATO...It can be slow, and the note sounds moody...Or it can be fast and the note sounds happier)

In any work there are the important notes, and the 'fill in' notes.  Take the 1st movement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.  It is simple to just press the keys down...but the work REQUIRES good note shaping to really bring it out.  Hidden in the piece are a lot of melodies and phrases.  The 1st note in some of the triplet passages have a descending or ascending melody in the triplet series.  Once I realized that, I labored hard to express the melody.  That is when playing the work became HARD!!!  I had to focus on HOW I brought each finger down, whether to pound or caress the keys.

THAT is when I became more of a Musician than just a Performer...

45

MTC OOC / Re: Remembering Ragnar

« Last post by ~Angel~ on November 23, 2024, 11:43:09 AM »

<BR>I just learned today from an old Gorean visitor of Ragnar's passing.

It saddens my heart and though I only barely knew him, I knew him well enough to know the legend of the Man will live on.

I will always regret not taking him up on his invitation to attend the gathering.

My condolences his family, slaves and friends.

Love,

⋟Angel⋞

46

MTC OOC / Re: ...Izee's Thread

« Last post by Izee on November 17, 2024, 12:40:45 AM »

...Happy to see the Site back...THANK YOU!!!!!   

Here is a Symphonic work that has been going through my mind the past week or so.  I am feeling melancholy, no reason that I can see.  Just this time of year, which is difficult for me, and probably my mental illness acting up.  But, I am not taking any Rx's, the MD does watch over me and isn't concerned, except for my blood pressure.  So I stopped drinking and am trying to be more physically active, so my blood pressure is now at the lower normal range.  But this Symphony, which I have played in several times, jumps into my mind...especially the 2nd Movement.  Here is the link...

https://youtu.be/XMLyJNgd6LA?si=sFXPiNJkkUA_BwfK

The theme of the 2nd movement is so yearning...and the lower strings keep a beat going on underneath.  I always imagined that the movement was set on a train...there is a sad dialogue, or internal thoughts of a passenger...and the click of the train wheels just goes on and on.  It is a tiring work to play on the cello and bass.  You are playing short notes, but you can't just bounce the bow, the note would be too short.  So, you have to bring the bow down and let it briefly move on the string, and then pull it off.  But, you can't pull it too far off the string...you won't get the bow back down in time for the next note.  My arm would be a bit stiff after playing it.

47

MTC OOC / Re: Remembering Ragnar

« Last post by Izee on October 16, 2024, 04:49:17 AM »

I miss him so much, but know that he is in a happier place now.

He and the Woobster were an AMAZING couple.  They deeply loved each other, and both still found time to be with us.  Rags and Woobie helped counsel me through some significant personal challenges in my life, and I will always be grateful for that.  Plus, they both could be a lot of fun, they had me rolling on the floor with laughter at times.  And the Home they created was wonderful, and there were a lot of other wonderful people in the home that I met.

48

MTC OOC / Re: Remembering Ragnar

« Last post by helga on October 14, 2024, 04:40:09 PM »

He will always be with us.

49

MTC OOC / Remembering Ragnar

« Last post by spiorad{RgR} on October 14, 2024, 07:32:20 AM »

It is hard to believe it has been a year
You are still missed  an so very much  loved
I am so grateful for our time together, I will cherish it always
and it makes me happy to think of You free of pain
and with Your beloved woobie

always with love
spi

50

MTC OOC / Re: ...Izee's Thread

« Last post by Izee on October 07, 2024, 08:05:44 PM »

...Road Construction Companies...

I was the Chief Financial Officer for a Mid-size Road construction company for a few years.  As I have previously reported, it was a Conglomerate of Construction Companies, Rock Quarries, Asphalt Storage Plants, and a Mining Company.  It was spread all over CA and NV, and helped build roads and major freeways.  I was initially hired as an Internal Auditor, since I was from the CPA firm that audited them every year.  But, vacancies arouse above me, and I got promoted.  Some managers thought that the President should have hired more experienced male Accountants, but the President liked me, and, well...he liked having women in the Main Office.  He even let me have a Company Mercedes, and I drove regularly to the outside offices to check their books and help out.  I received mixed receptions at the outside offices, the accounting staff liked me, I treated them with respect and let them know that I was there to help, and not to tattle.

Well, the Line Engineers and Foremen had a different view of me.  They didn't like having someone come into their Offices and have full authority to adjust their books, or, they wanted their accounting staff to be working on accounting for the paving jobs they had rather than meeting with me.  I learned, over the years, to just not go to certain facilities during the busy season, and which men to watch out for.

One day, I had just hired a new Accountant, and I wanted to take him to a Field Office to see what they did, and to get to know the outside accountants.  I took him to one Construction Company, saying that we got along together real well with them, and that they would be happy to see us.  The visit went a bit differently than I expected...

We had just arrived, and we were with the field accountant, and one of the Job Foremen came in.  He was a large, dark, Portuguese Man, and also prepared estimates for jobs.  He started shouting at the field accountant, "GET RID OF THESE JERKS, I NEED THAT ESTIMATE WRITTEN UP!!!"  He glared at me, and said "WE HAVE NO TIME FOR YOU!!!"   Well...I gathered up my new accountant...and we left.

It was very quiet in my Mercedes as I drove us back, and then I casually said...

..."Well, you can see that we get along very well with that Office.  Now, just wait 'till we go to one that doesn't like us."

He sat, and stared at me, and started laughing.  So did I, and I had to pull over...

...It is NOT safe to be driving when you are laughing so hard that tears are rolling out of your eyes, and you are trying to keep mucus (snot) from running out of your nose...

But, that Job Foreman came to like me, and would want to socialize with me at Company parties.  He even asked me to handle a non-company legal matter for him after I left the Company and started working as an Attorney.