It's taken me so many hours to write something about Nex/Brandy, in fact, it feels like days... Everything said by everyone here said everything about her... She had a spirit about her that was unique, I remember talking to her one night about a year ago or it was longer, she was excited about going fishing with the guys of her family, her brothers, uncles and father, she was joking about having to take half of her hospital room with her, but even with that overshadowing things, she was so looking forward to it.. Joking that it was going to take a huge truck to just get her and all her machines together, and then there was the boat itself... ~laughs softly~
Even when things were going not so right with her, she would take time out to talk to those who needed a shoulder or an ear to vent into... There were times when I used both, to cry and vent, on things that were going on in my life, and then I would stop and tell her that I shouldn't dump things on her when she had so much going on with herself, she would tell me that everyone needs to vent and to cry, that at that moment I was that person.. I felt selfish for dumping on her, but in the end I felt as if things were going to be alright...
I had taken a week or two to think about something I wanted to do to show her how much she meant to me, I didn't discuss it with anyone, because I didn't know what the response was going to be, that choice I made was to ask her to become my Blood Sister, my True... Something that I felt was a way to show her that I felt her more than just a Sister in camp, but in real life... When I approached her and told her what I had been thinking about and if she would like to be my True Sister, she smiled and said yes.. That night as we joined together, mixing our blood with one another, gave me a feeling that I still can't put into words... Forever and a day she is my Sister in life as well as death, nothing can change that, and I hope nothing ever will...
I am not one for words, though at times I am gifted with the ability to do flowing posts, stories or poetry, that's not what belongs here, at least not to me...There are so many things that come to mind when I think of Brandy, her full of life spirit that kept going even when she wasn't feeling herself, then there was Nexhias, a woman who stormed into camp, being the feisty and insane person that she was, to a woman who stepped up into a role that was hard to begin with and became the beautiful, strong and caring woman she always had been... She may have said she changed after becoming Ubara and Council, but she didn't, not to me... She always told us the way it was and she still did... No title could change her, Nexhias was her more so than anything... I was lucky to be able to know her as long as I did, she touched me in so many ways, allowed me to take another look at myself and see something that I had been ignoring, my own strength and passion for who and what I am..
Brandy/Nexhias, no time will lessen the hurt of your passing, but everytime I look to the sky or look around me, I will think of you, pointing you to see the beauty of what I see through my eyes... You will never be far from my heart, mind or soul... I treasure the time I was able to know you, and I know that you are now at peace, no longer hurting... You get to see the world as none of us get to until it's our time to join you, though I know you hope that time is longer than you got to spend with us all...
I love and miss you my Sister, True, the bond of blood holds us together not only in a physical sense, but in spirit, until we meet again, I will listen for your words or laughter on the wind or breeze... Goodbye for now...
Diane/Taryn Iona
