...((My Hispanic Mother was born and grew up in Texas...so I guess that I am not a TOTAL waste of flesh and protein...although I was born, and grew up in CA))
Music...again...one of the finest of the fine Arts. It unlocks our brains, it can elevate, and stimulate us...and...also pull us into insanity!!!

I saw that when I went to college. These fine young people would be sitting in a dorm, smoking pot, and listening to 'In La Gada De Vida" (sp) over and over, again. I listened to it once, but didn't smoke pot, I did have a glass of cheap wine...I mean...we were starving students...and thought..."Oh, OK." They kept telling me that pot was cheaper, and didn't cause a hangover. But, I was stubborn, and sat in a corner and nursed the bottle of wine all by myself, and woke up in the morning with a HORRIBLE hangover...and swore off all alcohol.

But, I did repeat the event a few more times. Good thing that I didn't have a serious boyfriend at the time, I might have not liked what I saw, and looked and felt like, the next morning. I woke up with one of my girlfriends, and we just smiled at each other, and then got out of bed and fixed some breakfast.
Here is the Faure Elegy...
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?view=detail&mid=862C5F01E672C102FC2E862C5F01E672C102FC2E&q=fuare elegy&shtp=GetUrl&shid=377e0ddc-61df-496f-9fab-1d9c8ce5b6a1&shtk=R2FicmllbCBGYXVyw6kgLSDDiWzDqWdpZSBmb3IgY2VsbG8gYW5kIG9yY2hlc3RyYSBPcC4gMjQ%3D&shdk=SW5mbzogaHR0cHM6Ly9nci5hZml0LnBsIFBvbGlzaCBOYXRpb253aWRlIE11c2ljIFNjaG9vbHMnIFN5bXBob25pYyBPcmNoZXN0cmFzIENvbXBldGl0aW9uLiBTenltYW5vd3NraSBTY2hvb2wgb2YgTXVzaWMgU3ltcGhvbnkgT3JjaGVzdHJhLCBXcm9jxYJhdyAoV3JvY2xhdywgQnJlc2xhdSwgVnJhdGlzbGF2aWEpIFBvbGFuZCBBbm5hIEdyb25kYWxza2EgLSBjZWxsbyBNYXJjaW4gR3JhYm9zeiAtIGNvbmR1Y3RvciBPZ8OzbG5vcG9sc2tpIEtvbmt1cnMgT3JraWVzdHIgU3prb2xueWNoIFN6a8OzxYIgTXV6eWN6bnljaCBJSSBzdG9wbmlhIDIwMTMsIE9ya2llc3RyYSBTeW1mb25pY3puYSAuLi4%3D&shhk=kmtkpVnugkpcWg7xo4OvfBKGQtxdQD9QzahoIFoVVz0%3D&form=VDSHOT&shth=OVP.Bv-MWcFtHJ3ECOV8Yyel-wHgFo
It was a piece that I performed several times, usually, with just a piano. But, once, the semi-professional orchestra I played in asked me to perform it. That was one of the most DEMANDING challenges I have ever faced. Standing in front of a Federal District Court, and arguing that the IRS didn't understand Tax Law was NOTHING...compared to what I was feeling when I walked onto the stage, and settled my butt and my cello in place. (I won my case, the IRS re-wrote a Regulation...and I got AUDITED for the next three years. They didn't find anything, and I brought a motion in the Federal District Court to make the IRS stop...and they did.

Don't mess with this Bitch, she is very very unforgiving!) Well, back to the music...

I was scared OUT OF MY PANTIES as I walked out onto the stage. The music isn't all that difficult, although certain passages are demanding. The challenge, like in all music, is for the performer to express the meaning to the audience. I had been coached on how to express it, and my private teacher was in the audience. I sat for a moment, looking at the floor, as my mind was in a whirlwind, and then I calmed down a bit, and looked over, and nodded to the Concertmaster, and then to the Conductor, and sat up, and arranged Pavane between my thighs. I had thought of using Katherine, but she had a soft sound...and I wanted to do something more this evening...Pavane had a loud, strong voice, with powerful overtones.
Well, I thought, "SCREW YOU, MY PRIVATE TEACHER"...and performed it the way that I WANTED TO DO IT!!!

I played the opening very strong, and when the phrase repeated...I got VERY soft...it was probably hard for the audience to hear me, but they were all leaning forward. I was nice in the lyrical section...and then...in the middle, angry part, I just let it all loose. I wasn't sitting, prim and proper in the chair, smiling at the audience...I was leaning forward, grinding my teeth, and shutting my eyes...and bowing very hard. I got to the section where my fingers were just racing over the fingerboard, and let them loose. I actually felt that I had two small animals on the ends of my arms, that were doing what they wanted, racing around, on errands that I just couldn't understand. I WASN'T thinking of where to place my fingers, I just had the music in my head, and was trying to let it loose on the audience.

I finished, and just let my bow caress the open C string at the end, and stopped, the end of my bow was still on the string.
I just sat for a few seconds, and then lowered the bow and looked up....
I got a lot of applause, and bowed several times...and left the stage.
I did drink some wine at the reception, but didn't want to mix with people. I had left a lot of myself on the Stage, and those parts would somehow find me, and get back in. I didn't sleep well, that night...I swear...I could feel those parts somehow making their way from the City I had performed in...60 miles away...and they had found the dirt road that led to our home...and they crawled back into me.
Once they were all back...I fell asleep...and was happy. I had played well.