Tal My Family.
I'm sure most of You have noticed I haven't been around in quite a long time. there are a few reasons behind that. One a few know about, the Others was looking for work, which I did get, but shortly got fired because I had to goto the hospital, I had gotten into a fight (not at work) I kicked the guys ass, but in the process I strained/pulled My neck and back muscles (which even right now I'm still in a lot of pain over) I have to go see a physical therapist for it. I am often overly highly medicated because I have somehow built an immunity to the Ultram and Methocarbamol, thus having to take more then I should, My attention span is shot, My mind is often else where and generally do not feel "alive" as it were. -sighs a lil- Now it has gotten worse, Yesturday Ray/Aeryon took My Mom to the Hospital, she was having chest pain. They are doing tests to see exactly what the problem is, she MIGHT have to get a pace maker, which means she'll have to have surgery. I am not to happy about the fact she has to go under the knife, but if it has to be done, then so be it. I just worry is all. I am not a mama's boy, but she is MY mother and I do love her alot.
I am not asking for sympathy, I am just asking Everyone to understand why I am not in camp all that much and why I tend to refuse talking about Gor or RP at times or Anything period. Why My temper rises alot faster then it normally does. Why I am distant when I do talk. I never saw Myself as a weak man, at times perhaps, but generally no, The past couple of years has been nothing short of Serious Testing of My Willpower among other things. I am not a Religious person, most of My RT friends usually call Me a pagan at best. I was however born an raised Catholic till I was 14 when I was given the choice, and choose other paths. My point is, since I had that previous experiance I do have a small amount of faith, it's not the greatest, but it is there. I know things will improve in time, I know My Mother will be alright. I just need the time to heal as it were, I know My family is here for Me, but I can not afford to step foot into Camp let My anger flare for no reason, and "Show My Ass" as Ubar likes to tell Me when I do become an ass. -s-
I love You all in different ways. even the ones who are Annoying -w- do not ask, I won't say. -hugs everyone- One thing I love about this family is it's ability of Understanding, I doubt I could find that in mass anywhere else. if I feel up to it I will show My ugly mug every once in awhile untill I am sure I can be the person Everyone knows. My Messengers are usually Open, well Q barely is but I open it from time to time.
-takes a deep breath, and meanders away to get My bearings-
