Allegra Neri

[quiet one]

It was a hot day in Louisiana...the sun shone down on her long golden hair as it shimmered in the light…the long black dress hung off her like a paper sack…it was only her and the priest who stood there at the grave sight…the last piles of dirt covering the coffin which held her mother…

As she closed her eyes and listened to the priest talk she was taken back a few years to times when her mother hadn’t been sick…those images quickly changed as she began to imagine the frail woman who was but skin and bones…the cancer having ravaged her body beyond anything the young girl had seen…it was in these last years that many secrets had been dissolved and truths spoken…it was in her mind that she felt the cancer had truly allowed her to know her mother after twenty-two years…

Saying good-bye to the priest and thanking him she was sad that her father did not know…did he care…would he have come if she had known about him before a few days ago…

The drive home seemed to take forever…then as she stepped through the doors she was hit with a wall of grief that consumed her…tears fell like rain drops as they splashed down onto the tile floor…the house a reminder of something lost…she knew that it would only be a matter of days before she would be putting it on the market…she couldn’t live here without her mother…she just couldn’t…there would be many things to go through and to clean…it would be hard work but she knew she could do it…she had to for her own sanity..

It didn’t take long for the house to sell…it was only a few days and she had gotten more than she asked…enough that she could buy a small house nearby and still work at the hospital…it would make things a lot easier…and she could still visit her mothers site each day like she had been…her best friend…her confidant…her reason for life…still the fact that she was gone hurt too much for her to focus…there were still a few small boxes left to go through in the attic…perhaps today would be the day…then she would need to go house hunting herself…as she pulled down the ladder and climbed into the dusty space she opened the one small window and let in some air…the cobwebs hung like grey clouds as they lurked over the history that lay inside the boxes…little did she know how this would change her life…

The first box was only photos of her as a child and her mother…family stuff…her first drawing…her first report card…all those things that parents cherish and tuck away to pull out from time to time and examine the pages…exploring each and every detail as though it was bringing them back in time…Allegra was doing just the same as her finger brushed over the small sketch she had done of her mother…I brought a wave of grief followed by another storm of tears…it was a while before she was able to get her emotions under control and look into the last remaining box…

She should have guessed the box contained a few secrets as it was locked…though it didn’t take long to figure out the strange key…pulling the locked from around her neck Allegra studied it for a few moments…turning it this way and that…before opening it up and placing it in the lock…as she pressed she heard the familiar click when a lock opens…as she lifted the lid she was met with pictures of her mother…she couldn’t have been more than 20 in those pictures…she was indeed the image of her mother except she had blonde hair…she often wondered if her father would have been the one to pass on the blonde locks…but then there were a great many secrets still left to unfold..

One by one she looked through each picture…then as she came to one she stared at it for a long time…it was her mother and a man holding hands…both held that gaze that lovers do…as she turned the picture over she smiled…there was a small note on the back…it was not her mothers hand writing she knew that…

My darling…know I will always love you and Allergra…please know that…yours forever Tristan

“I will always love you and Allegra…I will always love you and Allergra…Tristan”…she kept flipping the picture over looking from the two on the front to he words on the back…over and over again until she thought she was going to be sick…was this he…it couldn’t be…her mother swore there were not pictures…her mother wouldn’t even tell her the name of her father…now that there was a piece of her history she scoured the box for more…there were no other pictures…nothing more...with tears streaming down her cheeks she tossed the box against the wall…watching as the old dried out wood shattered on impact…a piece of paper fluttering amongst all the debris floated to the ground as she scrambled from where she was sitting…her shaking hand reached out and looked at the paper…BIRTH CERTIFICATE…

Allegra read over and over the names…Tristan James…Maria Neri…Allegra Neri…why hadn’t she had the last name James…why…it was right there on the certificate…his name…was that his name…her eyes widened…as she looked upon the document she saw that she had been born in New York New York…her mother had told her that she had been born and raised in Louisiana…what other secrets were there for her left to find out…all she knew was that she needed to go to New York…perhaps more answers lay there than here…

It was weeks before she was able to give notice at the hospital and search for a cheap apartment online in New York…she had enough from the sale of the house she wouldn’t have to work for a while…but she would anyway…perhaps a waitress or something…something that would allow her more time to search…she was curious now…too many questions and not enough answers…all her stuff was put into storage…she had two suitcases and her photo of her mother and father and the birth certificate…

As she boarded the plane to head to New York she watched as the place she knew and loved grew smaller…what was waiting for her in New York…more mysteries…or perhaps the truth…she wasn’t even sure she wanted to know the truth…all she knew was that she needed to know…needed to find out…she needed to know who she was…though only in time would she realize the importance of that thought…

[quiet one]

She had found a small place, nothing special but it was somewhere to stay and it was furnished, well sort of.  She had placed the adding the paper along with the photo of him younger.  Tristan James.  For some reason she had a feeling that wasn't his name.  But why would her mother have liked about something like that.  Why.

She was going to give the add another week then she would run it again with her picture as well.  She is glad she got the P.O. Box as so far she has received some pretty creepy letters.  The guy at the newspaper had suggested it, that he was on the ball.

She had an interview for a dancer and some club, she had gone and checked it out and found that it wasn't in the best neighbourhood but it was good money so she was going to go and audition.  She could do this I mean it wasn't going to be that hard was it.  This would also give her days off so she could still do some research.  So far she had to apply to her the hospital records.  And that was going to take up to six weeks.  Hopefully she found answers sooner rather than later.

[quiet one]

She had gotten the job at the club...she wasn't use to dancing like that and it was sure going to take her a few days of practice at home to learn how exactly to take all those clothes off without killing ones self...those girls made it look easy and she knows that she got the job based on her looks alone...but it was a job a few nights a week and the tips would be good too...

This would allow her to pay the rent on the small apartment and keep looking for her father...there had to be more clues...and this would also allow her to stay the six weeks it's going to take to get the information back from the hospital about her birth...

She had bought a large mirror and had attached it to the back of the door...it was here that she was standing as the music started...she could dance...but dance and take her clothes off was something entirely different...she fell a few times and got stuck and twisted around her bra straps a few times too but after hours of practice she had finally managed to make it look as though she knew what she was doing there in the quiet confines of her apartment with only herself and her reflection...

Sitting down at the table she downed a glass of water...her hunger she was finding was changing...it has begun after her mother got sick...she used to enjoy her meat done to a crisp...but it was changing...her mother had always insisted upon cooking the shit outa her food...and even though her mother hadn't said anything the fact the fact that Allegra now only enjoyed her meat barely cooked had seemed to worry her mother...though even now as she was waiting for her steak to fry in the pan she had it on low not wanting it to be fried at all on the outside...she just wanted it warmer than it was from the fridge...she had tried the oven but that had given it a taste that she did not care for...finally as the steak was done she sat with her water at the table and sliced her knife through the still raw but warm flesh of the meat she was practically salivating...her diet consiting mostly...well 95% meat...and raw...strange how one's body changes like that isn't it...

[quiet one]

It had been a week and a bit since she ran the last add in the personals.  This time when she ran it again she added a picture of herself and one of her mother too.  Same saying was still with it...'Daughter seeking Father'...Hopefully something would come of this.

Her job was okay.  It was a job right.  It's not like she enjoyed taking her clothes off for strange men, but the tips were good just as she had thought they would be.  It amazed her what drunken men were willing to slip into that g-string of hers.  So far she had always managed a ride home with one of the other girls on the bouncer which made traveling the time of night she had been doing a whole lot safer for her.

She only had a few weeks left until she got the redords from the hospital.  Then hopefully it would shed a little more light on the situation.  Maybe by then she would have recieved a letter or something from someone whom seemed to atleast have some details about her and shed a bit of light onto her life.