aphris,
My heart goes out to you... No one should have to deal with the pain, terror, and helplessness of chemo. I've seen people go through the treatments; some claim the cure is worse than the sickness.
As for your hair loss -- no, you're not vain or petty to feel that way. I, too, am losing my hair -- whether from stress, female pattern baldness, or impending thyroid disease, no one knows. To loose twenty strands in your palm just shampooing your hair makes you cry and feel like you're losing the very symbol of your femininity. I had to cut healthy hair that was more than 3/4 of the way to my waist to just above shoulder length to keep my hair loss from being so obvious. It's extremely depressing... but I'm not ashamed to share that with you...~hugs~ I could never claim know what you are feeling where the cancer is concerned, but I know where you are coming from with the hair loss...
I tell myself that I am beautiful inside and that my personality shines through, but sometimes it is much easier to feel beautiful when I am online, where no one can see me!
