Elspeth Vacation

[Rachel]

((posted as Jeff Mallard))

I walked in Elspeth's office around six o'clock Monday evening and found her working at her desk.

"I just heard the most absurd rumor. Seems two patrolmen picked up one bewildered and emotional Elspeth Wise. What the heck is up with that? You’re never emotional at work. The only person whom I’ve ever seen get anything other than the cold shoulder was ol’ Benny-boy.”

Her response was curt as usual, "They are mistaken. I was just exhausted from the previous case. That’s all."

"Exhausted, hell, you hardly ever sleep more than three hours a night, and I’m not even sure if you did that"....... Dropping into one of the chairs.

 She ignored me and  my obvious attempt to get her drawn into conversation.

"They said you had been crying. What the heck is going on?"

Her head jerked up, planning some venomously denial to my those claims.

I studied her face ... and red eyes.... "My God! You look like shit, El!”

She responded in her normal  sarcastic tone, "You really know how to charm a girl, Jeff."

"When I’ve a mind to, don’t change the subject. You look like you’re world has collapsed in on itself. I think you better break down and confess, Ms. Baptist or I’m calling my priest for an exorcist."

She mumbled to herself, "He’d do it too. Self-righteous Catholic. Always trying to get me into mass."… then blurts out, "Fine, shut the door, Mallard."

Just staring at you like you're losing your mind.

El tried another approach...with a little less tact this time….. "Shut the damn door, Jeff."

Jumping up... closing the door....... and sitting back down with a thud.

She starts right in again, "You’ll need to make sure Nancy doesn’t get any cases involving children or expecting mothers, only the elderly. After her miscarriage last June, she just can’t handle those type cases. Never load anyone up with more than one case that would have been assigned to me. That way no one is overwhelmed."… She pulled open a drawer, "In here are all the forms you’ll need. And here are my keys." tossing them.

Catching the keys..... "Whoa…wait right there. Either you left a huge section out, or I was asleep. Where exactly are you going? Are you quitting?"

"No. I’m taking an extended leave of absence. I’m taking my vacation; all three weeks worth. While I’m gone, you’re in charge. Do you think you can handle it?"

"I'll manage........ but first...... what did Benny boy do to you this time?"

"Who said it was Ben?"

"I know you Missy........ when it's your mother..... you spit it right out..... and yes, I read Lindsay's columns."

Elspeth Wise

She cursed as she stood, moving to the sole window in her tiny office...peeked out of the blinds, but doesn't say anything for a while8……"This doesn't leave this room, Jeff. I mean it. The chief knows and that's all that needs to know. Got it?"

"Got it…. Hey look..... if it's private okay.... but...??"

She turned back from the window, "Ben and I are through.".. She gave me a long detailed report of what happened when she called Ben, and when he called back later. "I swear, Jeff. I've never come that close to loosing it…….. I've sunk so far down from all these cases. I actually felt I could have physically killed him last night with my bare hands."

"Ouch...... Sorry, hon...... but you know Ben works for Genovese Enterprises..... you were always dancing around the flames there.......

"I know Ben and I were sometimes volatile, but what does that have to do with work?"

And for the record, El never handled any of the Mob cases. She left those to someone else, usually me. She hates politics and those were soaked in it.

I spoke again, "I know Ben's a decent guy..... and everything he does is pretty legal...... but still"......... changing subjects....... "Life doesn't always feed us balloons, flowers and candy....... I know, I lost my wife."

She huffed as me, "I'm not even sure I'd go so far as say "decent" after last night. And I've known for a lot longer than you that life isn't fair, so you don't have to sale that to me…..Tomorrow the tests will be complete and it will either confirm or deny what the detectives are getting from the perp. Once the case is closed and ready for trial, I'm on the first plane to Alabama and I won't be back for three weeks. You have the numbers, so you can get me if it's an emergency. I doubt you will though."

I watched as she pulled out a big envelope and said, "I need two favors. This is the biggest one.".. handing me the sealed envelope.

"Jeff. Don't open that until I'm nice and snug in Alabama. Then I want you to give that and the copies of the final reports on the Sheron Varner to her. Understand. I'd prefer you don't look at it at all, but I know that's asking more than you can promise."

"Okay.... put it in your desk... I have the key.... ... and El?.. better take that toy you hide in there with you"… *chuckling a little*.

She dodged my little joke as she put the envelope in the drawer along with her service revolver, "You know I can't take my gun on a plane, Jeff. It stays here. The next favor may or may not be to your liking. I have some things of Ben's I need returned. Would you do that for me? I'll have the boxed and on your desk tomorrow."

"That I can gladly do......and I promise not to open THAT box"... dreading the thought of men's underwear.

"Does that satisfy you, "Father" Mallard? May I go home and break all the knick-knacks now?"

"If that will make you happy..... yes".... Getting up... walking around your desk...... "Gimme a hug"

She gave me a look that would wither most men, " Jeff...my compass may have been knocked a little off "North", but that doesn't mean I've gone all sappy……And what is that smell?… Has your daughter been helping with the laundry again? …What was it this time, the green apple soap I gave you for Christmas?"

Hugging you hard....." I'll miss your damn humor...... you know that?"

"Bah, humbug. Who said I was being humorous. I'm serious. That smell just doesn't do it for you Jeff."… Heading for the door*…"Now Apple Cinnimon...that's what you need."

I followed her out, "Tell your mother I said hello... and come back with a smile on that puss."

She locked up and had the last word as usual, "I'm not making any promises.

[Aspen Starwood]

((posted as Elspeth Wise))

On the way home that night, I stop off at a office supply store for a cardboard file box.  Once I get home, I quickly assemble the "fold and tuck" box and drop it in the center of the living room before startomg piling the few things of Ben's in there.  From the bathroom I toss his extra electric razor, his toothbrush (but not before I use it to clean that really nasty stuff from the connection on the toilet seat), and a pair of lounge pants he wore once or twice. 

I then start on the shelves in the living room.  It doesn't take me long to pick up the few figurines he had purchased on various business trips.  As I hold each one, I wonder just what "business" he had and how many nights he sat at one of those bars watching the nice young hussies prance about and wish he didn't have me waiting.  I rear back and hurl the delicate thing at the box.  It misses and breaks into three pieces, the next in half. 

My next stop is my closet.  I jerk one suit and two casual outfits of hangers.  I'm not giving that bastard my good hangers, he can just live with wrinkles.  A bit of inspiration hits me and I start looking for the scissors.  Ten minutes later, his cloths are wadded up and chunked into the box along with the other stuff...minus a small section of material. 

I head back into the bedroom after retrieving the stack of letters, notes, and cards I had saved, I head to my jewelry box.  I pull out the only piece of jewelry he ever gave me, a locket.  Opening it up, I remove the two amusement booth pictures we had made together on one of our first dates.  I look at that smiling face and my stomach turns.

"So how much of it was real, Ben.  Some of it?  All of it?"  I take a deep breath and sigh, the hurt just getting deeper and deeper as I question ever move, every word, every touch of our entire relationship.  "Any of it?"  Suddenly rage surges through and I crumple the small pictures in my hands and march toward the kitchen.  I light a candle and burn each one until he's no longer showing.  I put them back in the locket and drop both the locket and stack of momentos in too.  I grab some paper and scribble a little "love" note. 

May you get an STD and it fall off
Sincerly,
E

[/i]

I tape the lid down tight and shove the box toward the door, it easily glides across the carpet.  It may be petty and over-the-top, but that's the only revenge I'll allow myself.  I want to lash out, I want to hurt him like I'm hurting, but I'm too afraid I'd loose control, and he's just not worth it.  Not anymore. 

With a broken heart and a wounded spirit, I stumble to bed and those damn nightmares again.

[quiet one]

(wunners who this home wrecker is and sniffles...makes notes to keep Maddie well away from El...nods nods nods...awsome post!!!)

[Rachel]

((posted as Jeff Mallard))
Tuesday afternoon I use one of the NYPD Fords and drive over to Queens with the box that Elspeth left on my desk. It was easy to slip inside the front door at 12 Jewel Drive, Forest Hills. I even considered picking the lock to Ben Bravio's apartment door, but decided against it. Instead, I just left the box at his door, as if it was something dropped off by UPS. I'd rather not be around when he opens it.

I rang the buzzer, sure that he wasn't there, and was almost to the stairs when he opened the door.

[quiet one]

~perks~

[Ben Bravio]

"Hi, Jeff!!".... almost tripping over the box at my feet. .. "Uh oh. This box must be from Elspeth. Come on in and share a beer while I open it. I know she's pisssed but I don't think it's a bomb. This is New York City not Iraq."

Jeff tried to walk away, saying he had a crime scene to invesigate, but I insisted.

Once inside, after getting Jeff a beer, I commenced with opening the box. I had to laugh when Jeff suggested that I discard that toothbrush.

She certainly hadn't wasted any time folding up my suits. By the time I'd finished going through the box, the only thing worth keeping was the razor. At least I'd keep that momento since she once let me shave her legs with it. I decided not to share the details of that interesting experience with Jeff.

[Ben Bravio]

After receiving that box from Elspeth and having lunch with Maddie, I headed home to pack up everything Elspeth had left at my place. Taking a totally different approach, I used one of my hanging bags to carefully pick several dresses, blouses and a pair of jeans. I used the same box she sent my stuff in for her toiletries, hair brush, toothbrush and cosmetics.

Emptying the one small dresser drawer she used for her underwear and night gowns was painful, because most of these dainties were items I had bought her. I had a feeling she might trash them all.

I drove to her empty apartment in Carnegie Hill, used my key card to enter, placed the hanging bag in her closet and left the rest on the sofa. Beside the box, I left my keycard. I knew I should leave a note, but I just couldn't think of any appropriate words.

[Aspen Starwood]

((posted as Elspeth))

There’s a knock on my apartment door. 

“Coming!”  I spit in the sink, rinse my mouth out and toothbrush off, then quickly dash to the door.  I peek through and smile before jerking it upon.  “Morning, Penny.”  I let her come inside. 

“Sorry, but I had to take out some garbage.”  It was really a bag of clothing I took to the incinerator down below.  Things that were left for me sometime yesterday that I know I’ll never use again.  “I can’t thank you enough for this.  You sure you don’t mind staying the whole time?” 

“It gets me out of my sister’s house.  I’m really hoping I can find my own place and not have to move back in.” The girl is one of the new cadets at the precinct.  A nice girl, we have lunch several times a week.  She’s from Huntsville, moved up here with her sister after their parents died in a car accident. 

“Maybe so.”  I store my toothbrush away in my luggage and do the mental list.  Everything checks.  “Ok.  I left the money on the table, and the numbers you’ll need.”  I slip on my watch and stuff keys in my back pocket.  I was hoping I could have left yesterday, but things kept backing up at work and it was real late when I got out and I was too tired to make the trip.  Luckily I had decided to hold off until this morning to leave since I had to have my father a gift for Sunday.  No way am I forgetting this year. 

“So what plants need what water frequency?”  I laugh.

“All of their frequencies are the same…when I remember them.  Just try for twice a week, but anything over four may shock them.”  I glance around, my large pull-away is packed, there’s a carry-on strapped to the top of it, and my pack beside it.

“I think that’s about it.”  I cast one more look around.  “Oh…”  I grab a padded mailing envelope from the TV.  “Do me a favor, could you mail this?  I left a little extra.  It shouldn’t be much.”  I can’t believe I spent an hour on my hands and knees trying to find where I flung that bastard’s key last night.  The last place I looked was the rings at the top of my curtains.

The phone rang.  It was the cab below.  I said goodbye and headed out.  Downstairs the cabbie helped me load up my meager things and we headed to the airport.  At six in the morning I was a bit surprised at the traffic on the way to the airport.  But then, I rarely saw the streets at this hour.  Usually I was already behind a desk or in the lab. 

[Aspen Starwood]

((posted as Elspeth))

I smile when I hand the flight attendant my ticket and step through the long passage to the planes entrance.  I scan the seat identification as I go.  I am one row in front of the wing exit; lucky me, a window seat.  After storing my pack and carry-on, I settle into my seat, close the window and buckle in before opening my book once more.

It wasn’t long before my neighbor made her appearance.  She’s a nice little old lady.  She reminds me of my great aunt, Annie.  I help her with her things and see that she’s settled in before buckling myself back in. 

We chat amiably while we wait.  She’s going to see her granddaughter get married this weekend.  It is suppose to be a grand event.  She’s excited about the wedding, but isn’t too sure about the flight.  She tells me she’ll know when she hears the captain’s voice how she’ll fair on the trip.

As the jets kick in, she places her fragile hand on mine.  She gently patted it and then pried my fingers out of the arm’s padding. 

“Relax, darling, this guy is going to get us there.”  I force myself to relax.  I’m afraid that if I flex my fingers I’d crush her delicate fingers.  She suddenly launches into stories of the past, how things were when she was my age.  This time, the take off didn't see as bad as I remembered.

[Aspen Starwood]

((posted as Elsepth))

Halfway to Atlanta and I was alone with my thoughts once more.  The kind lady drifted off to sleep not long after take off.  I stare out the window.  The clouds stretch out as far as I can see.  It’s so surreal up here; so peaceful. 

My second guessing has started again.  I start wondering if those meetings he claimed he was having with Diego was really that.  Did I miss signs that he had a wondering eye before this girl?  And she is just that, a girl.  The fact he cheated on me was bad in and of itself, but that it was with someone so young.  That cut me so deep. 

My finger absently turns a ring on my right index finger.  It was a habit I have when I’m deep in through, but this time it catches my attention.  I look at it.  Really look at it.  I haven’t done that for years. 

“Oh Gale.  I failed you, I failed me, and I failed that girl.  I failed so many.”  I closed my eyes.  For days I’ve either been crying or on the verge of crying.  It hasn’t been enough.  I feel as if I could cry a river for years and it wouldn’t be enough.  The physical ache is a constant and has been since those fingerprints came back from the lab.  Ben’s betrayal only buried it deeper.

The ironic part is, I had called Ben hoping to spend some time with him.  I was going to tell him about it.  The past had caught up with me in a manner I never expected.  In some ways it had been a breach in our relationship.  Physically we were always whole, or at least I thought, but emotionally I had always held back.  I had the courage, no the need to tell him, but she was there. 

Now I’m on my way back home, my heart is broken and my trust in men shattered.  Not that there had ever been much to begin with, but he had broken through where so many others had failed.  It’s ironic that a lesson I should have learned so long ago came back and haunted me again.  Trust.  I trusted a man, and I had trusted a justice system.  Now I’m wondering if either of them deserved it.

I look down at the badge in my lap.  It was partially covered with a blanket; shielded from prying eyes.  Three weeks.  That’s the time I have to decide if I can go back.  Do I want to subject myself to that nightmare day in and day out?  And a nightmare it will be now.  Those fingerprints saw to that.  Before it was just hell, now I’ll wonder if another one had slipped through the cracks again.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and look up.  One of the attendants asks if I would like something more to eat.  I tell her no.  She asks if everything is alright and I tell her I’m fine.  The words as much a lie as the smile on my face, but I’ve had practice perfecting that as well.  Hopefully over the year, I’ve perfected it enough to fool my family.  I’ll soon know the answer to that.

[quiet one]

(awsome post hun....gave me shivers to read it)