If I have had the benefit of learning anything over the last year and a half of my life... it's not to take anything for granted. Knowing what I have and the value of it in terms of family, friends, life and love-- that has become center stage in my world. I'm a firm believer that all things happen for a reason, and that there is ultimately a plan for each and every one of us. We may not see the plan, we may not like the plan, but it's there. Sometimes our plans don't mesh with what God has in store for us. Still... at the end of the day, there's something good, something solid and something all together beautiful about being included in this thing called life.
Ironic thing is, even when life is less than kind.. there's something decidedly wonderful about it.
Ever since my return home, it's been hard to keep my spirits up. This isn't something I like to admit, but I need to get this out there, in the open. For months, I felt as if I were fighting against a brick wall for a long time, and no matter how well I did-- it seemed that the road I had to go was so much longer than I had the strength to 'walk'. It's a depressing thing when your reality just doesn't match up with your dreams. But... I always keep it in the back of my mind that I can say I served my country, I served it well and I did it with honor, and I came home alive. I came home alive... Not the same can be said for my brothers and sisters in arms.
Monday morning, got a knock at my door. Two Marines stood there, hats in hands. An apology. And the news that my best friend had seen his final battle. I was at a loss... still feel that way. Ryan is one of those guys that deserved so much more than life shot at him. He doesn't have a great family life-- dad left when he was young, mom had a tendency to swim in booze too much, and his sisters moved away a long time ago and haven't kept in touch. Ryan and I are about the same age, and we'd grown up together throughout childhood and our teenage years-- he lived at my house as much as I did! And he was always on my side, you know? A strong, true friend. Hell-- we even enlisted at the same time.
Hard to imagine that I won't see him in this life again. Hurts more than I can say. But I have to take the good with the bad.
He was in my life for a reason, and what a blessing he's been. A champion of mine more times than I can say, and an unwavering friend. And he considered me family, as much as I considered him. Veteran prankster and wit, a smartass as much as he was loyal-- God he made me laugh. I'll miss that. I'll miss him, until I see him again.
Thanks for listening.
Brandy (aka Nex)
In Loving Memory of
Ryan Reeves
1/17/77-1/19/08
'Long live the dream'
