More to keep Master Raz occupied as he waits
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
If something is out of whack, then there must be some things that are "in whack", right?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
If a 24hour store is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk? <------ my personal favorite lol
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Why do they call it a television set when you only get one?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
If you had everything, where would you keep it?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
Why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend,
...................that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?
If teachers taught, why didn't a preacher praught?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same
And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens?
A fly cannot bird, but a bird can fly
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, isn't a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up something I'm doing, I end it.
What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Where are the germs that cause 'good' breath?
Where did Webster look up the definitions when he wrote the dictionary?
Who's cruel idea was is to put the 's' in lisp?
Why aren't there ever any GUILTY bystanders?
Why can't you make another word using all the letters in 'anagram'?
Why do doctors call what they do practice?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?
If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is a fog horn made out of?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
hehe this should keep ya'll busy
