I apologize, Ill try to keep this short and not too detailed...I sat for 2 days, wondering if I should ask for help, about My oldest daughter, for a mental health issue.
After speaking further with her, and her father, I realized, with horror, that the situation was far worse than i realized, and, I cannot sleep, and am trying to calm myself enough to make some plans, and fly out there this week, for some emergency intervention...
I know I need to gather myself, and have made some tentative plans, with her full agreement and eager for my help, just hoping to get a plane out *hopefully* at the beginning or end of the week.
My two questions, and, ideas Id thought of and discussed with her...
1.,..if Any know of, or are a part of the mental heath system, how do i go about setting up a longer than her normal hour appt, id like a several hour, maybe over 2 days, meeting, a kind of emergency intervention, as shes very willing to have me participate...I dont want to come off wrong to her psychologist, and to have a kind of plan, or goal, in place...I dont want to seem the overbearing freaked out parent, even though i am right now...any guidance on dealing with them, would be appreciated...its a state one, as opposed to a private one, so, her issues may not be being dealt with properly...what she told me two days ago, worried me, to where i wanted to TALk with the doctors, but what her father told me today, with almost helplessness..(he doesnt know what to do, how to handle her, and, just thinks the doctors or the school will 'fix her')...it dont work like that, not with a child considering suicide...after having exhibited self destructive behaviour, thats getting worse(cutting, etc)..thats why im very upset, and going to go up there as soon as that plane ticket is secured,....hopefully, I can get some guidance, from someone, as to how to help them, and me, help her...before i leave...
2...many of the problems stem from harrassment, almost abuse, and problems with school...with teachers who will not stop what is happening, to a not so helpful principle...who treats her badly, (from her POV) I know that parents are allowed to 'audit' or set in and view their child's classes, at least in a public school.
If Any knows how the school district, or system works...what I seek to do, (and she wishes it as well) For me to tell, perhaps a school district member, or the principle...who I am, and that I wish to monitor and audit her class...to get a feel and handle on issues she faces...but I DONT wish the teacher of the classes to know who I am...at least, not which student is my child. That will prevent an abrupt change in behavior, or, altered behaviour for my presence...if they dont know whos parent I am...no fallback, or different treatment can occurr that day. If they would even begrudgingly keep it VERY secret, and just advise the teachers that im a 'set in monitor' or, something else, that would be great...But, I do not know the school system, and do not know what they will and will not do. Im not necessarily trying to 'catch ' the teachers at all...just to witness, if possible, what she describes as going on, that they fail to halt, with regards to being hit, having things thrown, and more. Id like to see it from a backseat view, and, see what the teachers reaction to such things, are..if they do occurr.
Then we'll have more to work with, with her counselor.
Her home life, is going through upheaval as well, shes delighted that her dad and his GF is splitting up, im really worried as to how she will react if that does not in fact occurr...her entire behaviour has changed, and her father agrees that his gf takes out some anger towards him, on Her...
So, while im there, we will be making the decision as well, if she needs to immediately come to stay with me right away....having to be there, and watch a bad break up, or, break up and get backtogether, as people often do...is NOT what she needs, while having her own, very very important issues...
Mommy has to step in, I can no more stand by and watch, or get 'updates", than I could hurl myself into a volcano....Im just trying to see how BEST...I can help, without overreacting, and frightening Her, or distancing or being overbearing on either the school, or Her psychiatrist.
I know this is a big order....advice wise, but Id dearly love any bit or piece that can help....
Shes my life...Im so glad she told someone before taking the 'final way out'....and Im going to be there for her, no matter what it takes...I just need to know best HOW to help, to avoid making any mistakes...any missteps that could cause rifts with her getting better...
I just refuse to stand by and 'let the system do it"...when, She needs far more...so Im jumping in with both feet and no regard for anything BUT Her well being...(I dont want to piss off school/psychologists though, and hinder or damage anything)
Thank You so much...*quiet hugs...practicing calming Myself, cause i cant break down in front of her*S*