a little laugh :-)

[RickBulow74]

Q: How do you do the wave at a chess match?

A: With your eyebrows

[RAGNAR]

Egawds...

[RickBulow74]

Bill Clinton was driving past the White House when he accidentally ran over the Obama’s new puppy, Sunny, crushing it flat as a fritter. He climbed out of his Rolls and sat down on the grass totally distraught. He knew his wife would go friggin' ballistic.
Then he noticed a lamp half-buried in the ground. He dug it up, brushed it off and immediately a Genie popped out. "You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment," said the Genie "As a reward I shall grant you one wish."
"Well," said Bill, "I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this dog."
They walked over to the splattered remains of Sunny. "Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?" Bill asked. The Genie looked at the remains and shook his head. "This critter is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Maybe there's something else you'd like?"
Bill thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos. "I had an affair with this beautiful young girl called Monica," said Bill, showing the genie the first photo. "But I'm actually married to this woman called Hillary" and he showed the genie the second photo. "You see Hillary isn't beautiful at all, so do you think you can make her look like Monica?"
The Genie studied the two photographs and after a few minutes said, " Let's have another look at the dog!"

[RAGNAR]

ROTFLMTAO!!!!!

[RickBulow74]

A farmer was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked on a
door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer
negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her
the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"
She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they
as firm as this?"
He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am," and a little tear ran from his eye.
Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they
nice and pink like this?"
The farmer said, "Yes," and another tear came from the other eye.
Then she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are they as
fuzzy as this?"
He again said, "Yes," and broke down crying.
She asked, "Why on earth are you crying?"
Drying his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the flood
got my soybeans, a tornado leveled my barn, and now I think
I'm gonna get screwed out of my peaches."

[flame{NS}]

BOL

[RAGNAR]

 

[RickBulow74]

Some puns for you, just because I am such a "punny" guy!



- Told the lady at the dairy that I needed enough milk for a milk bath. She asked, "Do you want it pasteurized? " I said "No, just up to my knees will be fine."
- the waitress who was charged with murder in another town was killed in a plane crash on her flight back to face charges. She got her just desserts.

[RAGNAR]

*Facepalms...*

[RickBulow74]

Q: How do you stop a mob of clowns?
A: Go for the juggler

[RAGNAR]

 

[RickBulow74]

Want a quick and handy hurricane scale? look at your cat!

https://www.instagram.com/p/8adl6uP3t-/

[RickBulow74]

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.
     A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
     "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
    Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
     He struggles to ask again "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
     Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look magnificent."
     The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:



 "Are My Test Results Back?

[RAGNAR]

ROTFLMTAO!!!!!

[RickBulow74]

Here it is for you Star Wars geeks:

Q: how did Luke Skywalker get back to the Rebel base on Endor after he crashed his speeder bike?
A: Ewoked