An elderly Scottish Jew decides to slow down and take up golf, so he applies for membership at the local club. After a week he receives a message that his application has been rejected. So he goes down to the club to inquire why.
Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club?
Scot: Aye, but I am as Scottish as you are, MacTavish.
Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear the kilt.
Scot: Aye, so do I.
Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under the kilt? Scot: Aye, neither do I.
Secretary: But you are a Jew?
Scot: Aye, I be that.
Secretary: So you are circumcised?
Scot: Aye, I be that, too.
Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable with that.
Scot: Ach, away with ya, man. I know that you have to be a Protestant to march with the Orange-men, and I know that you have to be a Catholic to join the Knights of Columbus. But this is the first time I've heard that you have to be a complete prick to join a golf club!
